[ the tall table makes evan grimace, but standing after a day like the one he's had isn't appealing. it's not an obvious spot, but it's a little more public than he'd like. he just has to hope this really is an out of the way place, and that he's not a memorable face.
he heads there with david, finally picking up on that last little insult. ]
Step up from a dumpster.
[ at least the table's out of the way. not many people near them, and he doubts anyone will hear them over the crowd and the music, anyway. ]
[ david picks up his beers and goes with evan to the table, perches himself up on one of the chairs with a light frown. he's never been a fan of these kinds of tables, but it is what it is. the chairs are more comfortable than he expected, at least. ]
I'd never be so cruel.
[ he would and they both know it, especially with the little smirk he says it with. ]
[ evan's grimace holds out after that comment, too. and because he somehow feels short at this table. that's a new experience for him as an adult, and not one he likes. ]
That bartender looked like she didn't like you bein' right.
[ small talk. anything to keep from the reason they're out here, or rather, the reason he called david out here. just ... idle chatter. and drinks. ]
Probably sick of having to look for a new job every six months.
[ maybe he'll give her a leg up or something, tell her to apply somewhere he knows the management, maybe not. depends how it goes next time he goes up to order. ]
[ whatever. he shrugs a shoulder. ]
Course there's every chance I'm wrong and this place manages to last instead. Seen some places stick it out when reason says they shouldn't.
[ keep to the small talk, he thinks, opening the next beer. it's a good distraction. ]
This close to the highway, it might.
[ but again, he's not someone with any kind of serious knowledge about the lifespan of a bar. much as he was joking earlier, david probably is the one with an almost professional take. ]
'Til yours or mine take it over and tank it doing somethin' stupid.
[ this time evan gives david a flat look. keep their places running well ... usually. yeah, he knows that. he also knows which ones are on the verge of collapse, because he read some of the family accountant's ledgers the other day when there was an argument going on.
not because he wanted to know where to go to potentially find david, obviously. he's stupid, but not that stupid.
usually. ]
Right up to the day someone tries to rob it and ends up getting smeared across the pavement outside the door because none of your boys can keep their trigger fingers under control.
[ but it's said lightly, because it's evan saying it, and hypocrite or not he knows he has control problems. they've been more obvious than usual, lately. ]
[ not really. it's a persistent issue on all sides, he assumes. there's a million reasons there's a high turnover on the bottom rungs and itchy fingers and a lack of discipline is a pretty common one. david knows he's had to smack the shit out of more than one dumb kid who escalated something that had no need for it. ]
[ oh gross. he doesn't want to think about that fundraiser at all again. well thinking about one part has been difficult not to do, but the rest of it could quite easily be consigned to the abyss. ]
Nah. Long as I was there with a smile when they needed, nobody gave a shit.
[ not that he got any real flak for disappearing. one of the others did say he saw the two of them out on the balcony being reasonably cordial, which would have resulted in something much worse if the followup hadn't been a comment on how glad he'd been they didn't have to pull apart a shitshow of a fight. evan had managed to dismiss it with a shrug and a comment about things being less now that they'd almost killed each other for real, and that had done the trick.
he doesn't mention it, though. nobody saw them disappear. that's all that matters. ]
How many more of those things you think you got in you this year?
[ some years it's a lot, some it's only one or two. ever since he was a kid, there was always some way to get him to be a little performer whenever they needed. having a kid who's at least a little charming is great for optics, really helps sell things. ]
[ he could ask evan the same question, but david halfway expects he'd just get the same answer back. besides, he doesn't care about that at all. he's reaching the limit on how much small talk he can really tolerate, especially with someone he knows also has low patience for this shit. ]
[ what he wants is to ask why evan called him out here, but knowing what he probably actually called david for, david's not sure he wants to get into that. ]
That what you called me for?
[ unfortunately his mouth moves faster than his head. ]
[ he could offer to meet david somewhere less public if he wants to talk about this. you know. his apartment. david's apartment, now that he knows where it is (and he does know, having made his way there last week just to see if it was even a real place; he stayed a street away, but he knows, now, what he's dealing with). the abandoned brewery. an underpass.
but in a bar, where people could listen in, they probably won't. it's a stupid line of logic that he's found is true more often than not. they haven't been caught yet, have they?
yet. ]
What do you think?
[ his expression would be angrier if he wasn't so embarrassed about the fact that he called david out in the first place. ]
[ which is, frustratingly, the truth. six (?) months ago it was simple, he saw evan, it meant he wanted to fight. wanted to kill really, but the circumstances that would allow either of them to actually do it are extremely limited. now? he's always uncertain when he sees evan, no idea what either of them wants out of any situation anymore. ]
[ david sighs and leans forward on an elbow — outwardly friendly, but it's just so he can speak lower without being overheard. ]
Maybe you just wanna talk, maybe you need some drinks before you make a shittier decision than that. I've got no idea.
[ a shittier decision than that. he sneers for a second, but david's right. almost every time they've had drinks lately, it's ended with - something. and even when they didn't have drinks. he's got no idea how to address this; all he knows is that he needed to deal with this, except he doesn't know how the fuck he's going to do that. ]
How's the last two weeks been?
[ this isn't an idle question. it's almost an accusation. if he's the only part of this who's been distracted and spending most nights lying awake trying to think of anything but what they did, then he's going to walk out of the city and never come back. so he needs to know if david's been as ... preoccupied as him. ]
[ something about the question makes the anger surge, and david honestly welcomes it if only for the familiarity of the feeling. the comfort of it. he exhales a puff of breath through his nose, smirks, seemingly amused except the cold stare and the way he licks his lips give him away in an instant. ]
[ the anger makes him ballsy too. comparatively, at least. being sure no one except evan can hear him alongside a spiteful desire to spark that fear he's seen in evan's eyes enough times by now drowns out every other voice in his head telling him to shut the fuck up. ]
Why? Need to know how many times I rubbed one out thinkin' about your cock in my hand?
[ the smirk curls into a sneer, not quite disgusted. closer to ashamed but not quite that either. not enough. ]
Not as many times as I've wondered why it's gotta be you of all fuckin' people, I'll tell you that much.
[ there's that brief look of terror david was looking for as evan glances at the nearest people in the crowd, but none of them are listening. then it's gone, replaced with a similar anger for what david said - and no small hint of embarrassment, too.
he didn't have to say it like that. ]
Yeah? Same here. This ain't somethin' I can just ignore. I've tried.
[ why david fucking king, of all people? he could guess at why, but he's not going to, at least not right now. ]
We keep doing stupid shit, we're gonna get caught.
[ it's not much, not enough, but it mollifies david a little. especially when he says he's tried to ignore it and couldn't. weirdly relieved by it, in fact. ]
[ we're gonna get caught, he says. and david shrugs a shoulder in response. ]
[ david opens his mouth to point out exactly that, as if only one of them is making bad decisions, evan's always so quick to deny accountability for his own shit. david's never really noticed that about him before. it's funny to david, for a moment, that he comes off as the egotistical one. he thinks evan's ego might be bigger and more fragile all around. ]
[ he lets the thoughts and the comments on the tip of his tongue fade to the back when evan goes on. he has a point, the fact they haven't been caught yet is probably burning through all the good luck either of them have. ]
Yeah, probably.
[ david tilts his head, thoughtful. and a little concerned, but that should be understandable, he thinks. ]
No more of this then.
[ he gestures to the table, to their beers. no risking being seen in oublic together seems a good place to start. ]
[ no more of this. that's probably for the best. evan's not social at the best of times, and honestly, he doesn't like going to bars, especially ones like this. he just couldn't find any other excuse to meet up with david other than drinking in communal places. ]
Didn't know a better way to get us in the same place.
[ texting regularly isn't going to work, either, because someone will find them both out eventually. so then how? ]
Can't be too cordial suddenly or someone's gonna get mad. [ he pauses, finds and idea, and hates it immediately. ] Fucking code isn't gonna work either.
[ david's expression falls a bit when he says code's not gonna work, but he has a point. how's it gonna look if someone looks at their messages and see a bunch of code? this is a fucked up situation, sure, but they're still loyal sons. ]
How much attention they pay to you? Could you get away with a burner?
[ it's all he can think of right now. that or he learns to make smoke signals for booty calls. ]
[ evan hesitates. for a second, his face says more than he ever could, or will.
yes, a burner's an option. he's trusted enough that nobody would think twice if he had two phones. but to him, personally, it feels like a betrayal. it is a betrayal. a separate phone just for texting or talking to one of his biggest, long-time enemies? to keep secrets not just from his family, but from his father?
the line of thought continues as he stares down into his beer: he's already keeping secrets. and has been, for a long time. besides, it's not like he's trading away secrets or giving up information. this is just for fucking. a distraction. an escape. ]
Might work for a while.
[ until they have the fortitude to find a better way to get in contact without having everyone around them realize something's going on. ]
[ david's already juggling a couple of numbers, what's one more? he does briefly consider putting evan in the same phone as his other hookups, but that's a dangerous game to play. ]
We can figure something else later, I guess.
[ later, christ. every time david runs into a reminder of how he's just accepted this situation it makes his stomach drop. he feels like he just keeps running headlong into the dumbest decision he could possibly make, but no amount of self-awareness can make him stop. ]
[ it's probably for the best if david doesn't, because if evan found out, they wouldn't need to worry about hiding anything anymore - he'd just kill david outright. or at the very least try. ]
Yeah. Later.
[ later ... when? short of arranging the meetups weeks ahead of time so there's no planning to track, their only other option as far as he can tell is their occasional accidental meetups turned into hookups. he'll just have to deal with the guilt crushing him over this. won't be anything new, really.
he shakes his head. time to get over the self-pity. ]
So you wanna finish these and crash at your place or just fuck off until I get what I need?
[ the phone. he can't even say it at this point. ]
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he heads there with david, finally picking up on that last little insult. ]
Step up from a dumpster.
[ at least the table's out of the way. not many people near them, and he doubts anyone will hear them over the crowd and the music, anyway. ]
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I'd never be so cruel.
[ he would and they both know it, especially with the little smirk he says it with. ]
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That bartender looked like she didn't like you bein' right.
[ small talk. anything to keep from the reason they're out here, or rather, the reason he called david out here. just ... idle chatter. and drinks. ]
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[ maybe he'll give her a leg up or something, tell her to apply somewhere he knows the management, maybe not. depends how it goes next time he goes up to order. ]
[ whatever. he shrugs a shoulder. ]
Course there's every chance I'm wrong and this place manages to last instead. Seen some places stick it out when reason says they shouldn't.
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This close to the highway, it might.
[ but again, he's not someone with any kind of serious knowledge about the lifespan of a bar. much as he was joking earlier, david probably is the one with an almost professional take. ]
'Til yours or mine take it over and tank it doing somethin' stupid.
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Have you know we keep our places runnin' well.
[ well. there's a brief, playful edge to it when he adds: ] Usually.
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not because he wanted to know where to go to potentially find david, obviously. he's stupid, but not that stupid.
usually. ]
Right up to the day someone tries to rob it and ends up getting smeared across the pavement outside the door because none of your boys can keep their trigger fingers under control.
[ but it's said lightly, because it's evan saying it, and hypocrite or not he knows he has control problems. they've been more obvious than usual, lately. ]
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Sounds more like your lot than ours there, Mac.
[ not really. it's a persistent issue on all sides, he assumes. there's a million reasons there's a high turnover on the bottom rungs and itchy fingers and a lack of discipline is a pretty common one. david knows he's had to smack the shit out of more than one dumb kid who escalated something that had no need for it. ]
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[ he can't argue with that. well, he can, but it'd make him look even stupider. ]
Better if we don't guess, probably. Either it'll happen or it won't.
[ the beer's not very good, but at least it's something. ]
You, uh ... get any flak from walking outta that party a few times?
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Nah. Long as I was there with a smile when they needed, nobody gave a shit.
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[ not that he got any real flak for disappearing. one of the others did say he saw the two of them out on the balcony being reasonably cordial, which would have resulted in something much worse if the followup hadn't been a comment on how glad he'd been they didn't have to pull apart a shitshow of a fight. evan had managed to dismiss it with a shrug and a comment about things being less now that they'd almost killed each other for real, and that had done the trick.
he doesn't mention it, though. nobody saw them disappear. that's all that matters. ]
How many more of those things you think you got in you this year?
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[ some years it's a lot, some it's only one or two. ever since he was a kid, there was always some way to get him to be a little performer whenever they needed. having a kid who's at least a little charming is great for optics, really helps sell things. ]
[ he could ask evan the same question, but david halfway expects he'd just get the same answer back. besides, he doesn't care about that at all. he's reaching the limit on how much small talk he can really tolerate, especially with someone he knows also has low patience for this shit. ]
[ what he wants is to ask why evan called him out here, but knowing what he probably actually called david for, david's not sure he wants to get into that. ]
That what you called me for?
[ unfortunately his mouth moves faster than his head. ]
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but in a bar, where people could listen in, they probably won't. it's a stupid line of logic that he's found is true more often than not. they haven't been caught yet, have they?
yet. ]
What do you think?
[ his expression would be angrier if he wasn't so embarrassed about the fact that he called david out in the first place. ]
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[ which is, frustratingly, the truth. six (?) months ago it was simple, he saw evan, it meant he wanted to fight. wanted to kill really, but the circumstances that would allow either of them to actually do it are extremely limited. now? he's always uncertain when he sees evan, no idea what either of them wants out of any situation anymore. ]
[ david sighs and leans forward on an elbow — outwardly friendly, but it's just so he can speak lower without being overheard. ]
Maybe you just wanna talk, maybe you need some drinks before you make a shittier decision than that. I've got no idea.
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How's the last two weeks been?
[ this isn't an idle question. it's almost an accusation. if he's the only part of this who's been distracted and spending most nights lying awake trying to think of anything but what they did, then he's going to walk out of the city and never come back. so he needs to know if david's been as ... preoccupied as him. ]
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[ the anger makes him ballsy too. comparatively, at least. being sure no one except evan can hear him alongside a spiteful desire to spark that fear he's seen in evan's eyes enough times by now drowns out every other voice in his head telling him to shut the fuck up. ]
Why? Need to know how many times I rubbed one out thinkin' about your cock in my hand?
[ the smirk curls into a sneer, not quite disgusted. closer to ashamed but not quite that either. not enough. ]
Not as many times as I've wondered why it's gotta be you of all fuckin' people, I'll tell you that much.
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he didn't have to say it like that. ]
Yeah? Same here. This ain't somethin' I can just ignore. I've tried.
[ why david fucking king, of all people? he could guess at why, but he's not going to, at least not right now. ]
We keep doing stupid shit, we're gonna get caught.
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[ we're gonna get caught, he says. and david shrugs a shoulder in response. ]
And yet, here we are.
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You didn't have to come out. Could've told me to go fuck myself and solved the problem for both of us.
[ and he could have resisted the urge to text him. he's ignoring that. ]
If this is gonna - keep happening, then we need to figure out a way to make it happen like we aren't the dumbest motherfuckers alive.
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[ he lets the thoughts and the comments on the tip of his tongue fade to the back when evan goes on. he has a point, the fact they haven't been caught yet is probably burning through all the good luck either of them have. ]
Yeah, probably.
[ david tilts his head, thoughtful. and a little concerned, but that should be understandable, he thinks. ]
No more of this then.
[ he gestures to the table, to their beers. no risking being seen in oublic together seems a good place to start. ]
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Didn't know a better way to get us in the same place.
[ texting regularly isn't going to work, either, because someone will find them both out eventually. so then how? ]
Can't be too cordial suddenly or someone's gonna get mad. [ he pauses, finds and idea, and hates it immediately. ] Fucking code isn't gonna work either.
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How much attention they pay to you? Could you get away with a burner?
[ it's all he can think of right now. that or he learns to make smoke signals for booty calls. ]
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yes, a burner's an option. he's trusted enough that nobody would think twice if he had two phones. but to him, personally, it feels like a betrayal. it is a betrayal. a separate phone just for texting or talking to one of his biggest, long-time enemies? to keep secrets not just from his family, but from his father?
the line of thought continues as he stares down into his beer: he's already keeping secrets. and has been, for a long time. besides, it's not like he's trading away secrets or giving up information. this is just for fucking. a distraction. an escape. ]
Might work for a while.
[ until they have the fortitude to find a better way to get in contact without having everyone around them realize something's going on. ]
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We can figure something else later, I guess.
[ later, christ. every time david runs into a reminder of how he's just accepted this situation it makes his stomach drop. he feels like he just keeps running headlong into the dumbest decision he could possibly make, but no amount of self-awareness can make him stop. ]
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Yeah. Later.
[ later ... when? short of arranging the meetups weeks ahead of time so there's no planning to track, their only other option as far as he can tell is their occasional accidental meetups turned into hookups. he'll just have to deal with the guilt crushing him over this. won't be anything new, really.
he shakes his head. time to get over the self-pity. ]
So you wanna finish these and crash at your place or just fuck off until I get what I need?
[ the phone. he can't even say it at this point. ]
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