[ some years it's a lot, some it's only one or two. ever since he was a kid, there was always some way to get him to be a little performer whenever they needed. having a kid who's at least a little charming is great for optics, really helps sell things. ]
[ he could ask evan the same question, but david halfway expects he'd just get the same answer back. besides, he doesn't care about that at all. he's reaching the limit on how much small talk he can really tolerate, especially with someone he knows also has low patience for this shit. ]
[ what he wants is to ask why evan called him out here, but knowing what he probably actually called david for, david's not sure he wants to get into that. ]
That what you called me for?
[ unfortunately his mouth moves faster than his head. ]
[ he could offer to meet david somewhere less public if he wants to talk about this. you know. his apartment. david's apartment, now that he knows where it is (and he does know, having made his way there last week just to see if it was even a real place; he stayed a street away, but he knows, now, what he's dealing with). the abandoned brewery. an underpass.
but in a bar, where people could listen in, they probably won't. it's a stupid line of logic that he's found is true more often than not. they haven't been caught yet, have they?
yet. ]
What do you think?
[ his expression would be angrier if he wasn't so embarrassed about the fact that he called david out in the first place. ]
[ which is, frustratingly, the truth. six (?) months ago it was simple, he saw evan, it meant he wanted to fight. wanted to kill really, but the circumstances that would allow either of them to actually do it are extremely limited. now? he's always uncertain when he sees evan, no idea what either of them wants out of any situation anymore. ]
[ david sighs and leans forward on an elbow — outwardly friendly, but it's just so he can speak lower without being overheard. ]
Maybe you just wanna talk, maybe you need some drinks before you make a shittier decision than that. I've got no idea.
[ a shittier decision than that. he sneers for a second, but david's right. almost every time they've had drinks lately, it's ended with - something. and even when they didn't have drinks. he's got no idea how to address this; all he knows is that he needed to deal with this, except he doesn't know how the fuck he's going to do that. ]
How's the last two weeks been?
[ this isn't an idle question. it's almost an accusation. if he's the only part of this who's been distracted and spending most nights lying awake trying to think of anything but what they did, then he's going to walk out of the city and never come back. so he needs to know if david's been as ... preoccupied as him. ]
[ something about the question makes the anger surge, and david honestly welcomes it if only for the familiarity of the feeling. the comfort of it. he exhales a puff of breath through his nose, smirks, seemingly amused except the cold stare and the way he licks his lips give him away in an instant. ]
[ the anger makes him ballsy too. comparatively, at least. being sure no one except evan can hear him alongside a spiteful desire to spark that fear he's seen in evan's eyes enough times by now drowns out every other voice in his head telling him to shut the fuck up. ]
Why? Need to know how many times I rubbed one out thinkin' about your cock in my hand?
[ the smirk curls into a sneer, not quite disgusted. closer to ashamed but not quite that either. not enough. ]
Not as many times as I've wondered why it's gotta be you of all fuckin' people, I'll tell you that much.
[ there's that brief look of terror david was looking for as evan glances at the nearest people in the crowd, but none of them are listening. then it's gone, replaced with a similar anger for what david said - and no small hint of embarrassment, too.
he didn't have to say it like that. ]
Yeah? Same here. This ain't somethin' I can just ignore. I've tried.
[ why david fucking king, of all people? he could guess at why, but he's not going to, at least not right now. ]
We keep doing stupid shit, we're gonna get caught.
[ it's not much, not enough, but it mollifies david a little. especially when he says he's tried to ignore it and couldn't. weirdly relieved by it, in fact. ]
[ we're gonna get caught, he says. and david shrugs a shoulder in response. ]
[ david opens his mouth to point out exactly that, as if only one of them is making bad decisions, evan's always so quick to deny accountability for his own shit. david's never really noticed that about him before. it's funny to david, for a moment, that he comes off as the egotistical one. he thinks evan's ego might be bigger and more fragile all around. ]
[ he lets the thoughts and the comments on the tip of his tongue fade to the back when evan goes on. he has a point, the fact they haven't been caught yet is probably burning through all the good luck either of them have. ]
Yeah, probably.
[ david tilts his head, thoughtful. and a little concerned, but that should be understandable, he thinks. ]
No more of this then.
[ he gestures to the table, to their beers. no risking being seen in oublic together seems a good place to start. ]
[ no more of this. that's probably for the best. evan's not social at the best of times, and honestly, he doesn't like going to bars, especially ones like this. he just couldn't find any other excuse to meet up with david other than drinking in communal places. ]
Didn't know a better way to get us in the same place.
[ texting regularly isn't going to work, either, because someone will find them both out eventually. so then how? ]
Can't be too cordial suddenly or someone's gonna get mad. [ he pauses, finds and idea, and hates it immediately. ] Fucking code isn't gonna work either.
[ david's expression falls a bit when he says code's not gonna work, but he has a point. how's it gonna look if someone looks at their messages and see a bunch of code? this is a fucked up situation, sure, but they're still loyal sons. ]
How much attention they pay to you? Could you get away with a burner?
[ it's all he can think of right now. that or he learns to make smoke signals for booty calls. ]
[ evan hesitates. for a second, his face says more than he ever could, or will.
yes, a burner's an option. he's trusted enough that nobody would think twice if he had two phones. but to him, personally, it feels like a betrayal. it is a betrayal. a separate phone just for texting or talking to one of his biggest, long-time enemies? to keep secrets not just from his family, but from his father?
the line of thought continues as he stares down into his beer: he's already keeping secrets. and has been, for a long time. besides, it's not like he's trading away secrets or giving up information. this is just for fucking. a distraction. an escape. ]
Might work for a while.
[ until they have the fortitude to find a better way to get in contact without having everyone around them realize something's going on. ]
[ david's already juggling a couple of numbers, what's one more? he does briefly consider putting evan in the same phone as his other hookups, but that's a dangerous game to play. ]
We can figure something else later, I guess.
[ later, christ. every time david runs into a reminder of how he's just accepted this situation it makes his stomach drop. he feels like he just keeps running headlong into the dumbest decision he could possibly make, but no amount of self-awareness can make him stop. ]
[ it's probably for the best if david doesn't, because if evan found out, they wouldn't need to worry about hiding anything anymore - he'd just kill david outright. or at the very least try. ]
Yeah. Later.
[ later ... when? short of arranging the meetups weeks ahead of time so there's no planning to track, their only other option as far as he can tell is their occasional accidental meetups turned into hookups. he'll just have to deal with the guilt crushing him over this. won't be anything new, really.
he shakes his head. time to get over the self-pity. ]
So you wanna finish these and crash at your place or just fuck off until I get what I need?
[ the phone. he can't even say it at this point. ]
[ david raises an eyebrow at evan's phrasing, but it's whatever. who even really cares at this point. it's probably the least weird thing going on right now. ]
Yeah, we can crash at mine.
[ this is so stupid. david shakes his head as he opens his next beer. but it's progress? whether or not this is something he wants progress on is a different issue. shouldn't want it, he knows, but it is what it is. ]
[ should he have asked that? but he already said they can't keep going to his place. someone's going to notice. or maybe that's not the issue. maybe he shouldn't be continuing this at all.
as if that's not the whole reason he called david out here. figuring it out. ]
Finally get to see what kind of gaudy shithole you live in.
[ his smirk is thin, but slightly less nasty than it would be before all this. he's kind of interested to see it - whether david lives like he shows off in everyday life, or if he's more like evan: with nothing to show that the place is his. ]
[ he assumes evan's already checked out the address, the neighbourhood, half of everything boarded up and abandoned, including the one david stays in. it's a run down neighbourhood with people mostly living there out of spite. the idea of opening up the door to some gaudy, overdecorated mess is funny enough that david snorts. like some kind of annoying "don't judge a book by its cover" story. ]
Can't wait to see if I live up to your expectations.
[ david knows evan's expectations are probably extremely different to the reality of an apartment david's been using as more or less a second home for maybe a decade now, but he's interested to see what the look on his face is going to be. ]
[ the neighborhood surprised him, on that first surreptitious visit, but then again, who'd look for david in a place like that? it's the same principle that got him his shitty apartment. nobody would consider it. it's genius, in a way, except it's the two of them. he knows neither one of them thought that far ahead; they just didn't want to be found.
he tilts his beer in david's direction, almost a salute. ]
I'm sure you'll fuck it up.
[ he finishes off the drink and grimaces at the crowd. getting out will have its own problems. he'll wait for david to leave first, the same way they do things when it's his place they're going to. then he'll follow, going a different route (probably), showing up later, just in case. ]
[ david snorts and tips back the last of his beer. ]
Maybe.
[ he gets up to leave once he's set his empty down, straightens his jacket and gives evan a little two-fingered wave before he heads out. it shouldn't take him too long to get to his place, even taking a more roundabout route just in case. he'll get there a decent amount of time before evan anyway. ]
[ evan lingers a little, waits to see if he recognizes anyone around, and then leaves.
he takes his time to make sure that nobody's following him (they aren't) and to make sure he gets there after david. he's not going to hang around, being noticed. in a place like that someone will, even if they don't know who he is. no records of him in this shitty place need to exist.
the building is even more of a shithole than he one he lives in, but again, that's a hiding strategy. nobody would expect david lives here. he sure as hell never would have guessed it. there's a part of him thinking, planning, ready to move in, land the killing blow ... but he waves it off today. david hasn't torn up his apartment. fair play not to do the same to his.
the door looks ready to fall apart at a knock, but he does it anyway. lightly. loud enough to be heard inside but maybe not in the other apartments nearby. ]
[ david's quick to answer the door, people here tend to mind their business, but he doesn't need someone to get curious for once about evan lingering at his door. that said, david does consider messing with him, but just about manages to stop himself. this time. just steps aside to let evan in and closes the door behind him. ]
[ the little entranceway is just as dilapidated as the outside — peeling paint, old mail on the floor, cobwebs on the ceiling — but it's just to maintain appearances in case he ever has to answer the door or if someone tries to take a peek when he's coming in or out. if it looks like some random guy is just squatting in an abandoned apartment, nobody's gonna give a shit. ]
[ the place itself is a well-sized studio. it was originally a safehouse, but their plans for the area fell through, then the area itself started falling apart, and the apartment went forgotten with it. so david took it over, made it his little by little over the years. moved in furniture that's nothing fancy or especially high quality, but it's good enough. little bits and pieces from home to here. a couch and a tv with a coffee table, a little table and chairs by the kitchenette, a bookshelf with odds and ends and a few dogeared old books. there's an electric piano shoved up against the wall by the bookshelf with a dust cover draped over it, and the dust cover is doing overtime based on the thick layer coating it. bed and desk way in the back — nothing special, but that mattress is probably the only thing in there that he spent real money on. ]
[ once he's past the entryway, he realizes: this is actually an apartment where david lives. it's not just some empty abandoned place to sleep off a hangover or ignore. this is an actual living space.
there's furniture, there's evidence of a life lived. he looks around in silence, taking in the little details. it's still not what he expects of david. not the flashy nightmare he suspects his actual apartment or room at home might look like. but it's more than what he's got.
that could be a bad thing to know for both of them. but he's here anyway. ]
Could be worse.
[ the untouched electric piano has his attention for a little longer than it probably should, but the dust loses his attention. evan stops in the kitchenette. ]
This where you go when shit's going bad or when you're hooking up?
[ or both, but his guess is that no women have ever been in here. it's too small, in too bad a place, to be anything but private. ]
[ evan would be right, david's never brought a woman here. he's only brought a few people here, and all of them were years ago. ]
Just a home away from home.
[ so the former, obviously, but david's not going to say it in so many words. it's a quiet, calm place. somewhere he can just decompress or get away from his parents when shit's really bad. ]
[ he stands back, arms folded over his chest while he watches evan take it all in. make any judgements he has to. ]
[ home away from home. it's a phrase evan's heard before, but even now, he's not sure he's ever experienced it. he's got one home. even the places he goes to try and unwind aren't another home.
he'd be jealous if he recognized why that was. as it is, he just makes a distant noise, eyeing the books, the bed in the corner, the little signs that someone really lives here. ]
Guess it must be one of your other apartments that looks like a fashion magazine.
[ not a very funny joke, but since when was he funny at all? he heads over to the couch and sits down. it's old. the kind he's got, but still a little nicer. that kind of irritates him. ]
Yeah, sure. My other place looks like a GQ spread.
[ david says it with a half amused breath of a laugh — it's not really funny, but it's amusing enough. maybe he could even muster a real laugh if he wasn't so keyed in to evan right now, watching the way he sits on the couch like that means something. ]
[ god he hates the way this all makes him so uncertain. it shouldn't be so difficult for him to know what to do, how to approach this. doesn't know if he's off his game because it's so fucking bizarre to have someone in his space like this, or if it's because it's evan of all fucking people. like suddenly he's got no fucking game. ]
You want a tour?
[ he raises an eyebrow, waits just long enough for evan to think maybe it's a serious question before he goes ahead. gesturing to various parts of the apartment as he speaks. ]
Kitchen, bathroom's just through there. Living room's right here, and, uh. [ he purses his lips, points toward the bed. ] Bedrooms just that way.
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hardlydead) wrote2024-05-20 10:36 pm
no subject
[ some years it's a lot, some it's only one or two. ever since he was a kid, there was always some way to get him to be a little performer whenever they needed. having a kid who's at least a little charming is great for optics, really helps sell things. ]
[ he could ask evan the same question, but david halfway expects he'd just get the same answer back. besides, he doesn't care about that at all. he's reaching the limit on how much small talk he can really tolerate, especially with someone he knows also has low patience for this shit. ]
[ what he wants is to ask why evan called him out here, but knowing what he probably actually called david for, david's not sure he wants to get into that. ]
That what you called me for?
[ unfortunately his mouth moves faster than his head. ]
no subject
but in a bar, where people could listen in, they probably won't. it's a stupid line of logic that he's found is true more often than not. they haven't been caught yet, have they?
yet. ]
What do you think?
[ his expression would be angrier if he wasn't so embarrassed about the fact that he called david out in the first place. ]
no subject
[ which is, frustratingly, the truth. six (?) months ago it was simple, he saw evan, it meant he wanted to fight. wanted to kill really, but the circumstances that would allow either of them to actually do it are extremely limited. now? he's always uncertain when he sees evan, no idea what either of them wants out of any situation anymore. ]
[ david sighs and leans forward on an elbow — outwardly friendly, but it's just so he can speak lower without being overheard. ]
Maybe you just wanna talk, maybe you need some drinks before you make a shittier decision than that. I've got no idea.
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How's the last two weeks been?
[ this isn't an idle question. it's almost an accusation. if he's the only part of this who's been distracted and spending most nights lying awake trying to think of anything but what they did, then he's going to walk out of the city and never come back. so he needs to know if david's been as ... preoccupied as him. ]
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[ the anger makes him ballsy too. comparatively, at least. being sure no one except evan can hear him alongside a spiteful desire to spark that fear he's seen in evan's eyes enough times by now drowns out every other voice in his head telling him to shut the fuck up. ]
Why? Need to know how many times I rubbed one out thinkin' about your cock in my hand?
[ the smirk curls into a sneer, not quite disgusted. closer to ashamed but not quite that either. not enough. ]
Not as many times as I've wondered why it's gotta be you of all fuckin' people, I'll tell you that much.
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he didn't have to say it like that. ]
Yeah? Same here. This ain't somethin' I can just ignore. I've tried.
[ why david fucking king, of all people? he could guess at why, but he's not going to, at least not right now. ]
We keep doing stupid shit, we're gonna get caught.
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[ we're gonna get caught, he says. and david shrugs a shoulder in response. ]
And yet, here we are.
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You didn't have to come out. Could've told me to go fuck myself and solved the problem for both of us.
[ and he could have resisted the urge to text him. he's ignoring that. ]
If this is gonna - keep happening, then we need to figure out a way to make it happen like we aren't the dumbest motherfuckers alive.
no subject
[ he lets the thoughts and the comments on the tip of his tongue fade to the back when evan goes on. he has a point, the fact they haven't been caught yet is probably burning through all the good luck either of them have. ]
Yeah, probably.
[ david tilts his head, thoughtful. and a little concerned, but that should be understandable, he thinks. ]
No more of this then.
[ he gestures to the table, to their beers. no risking being seen in oublic together seems a good place to start. ]
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Didn't know a better way to get us in the same place.
[ texting regularly isn't going to work, either, because someone will find them both out eventually. so then how? ]
Can't be too cordial suddenly or someone's gonna get mad. [ he pauses, finds and idea, and hates it immediately. ] Fucking code isn't gonna work either.
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How much attention they pay to you? Could you get away with a burner?
[ it's all he can think of right now. that or he learns to make smoke signals for booty calls. ]
no subject
yes, a burner's an option. he's trusted enough that nobody would think twice if he had two phones. but to him, personally, it feels like a betrayal. it is a betrayal. a separate phone just for texting or talking to one of his biggest, long-time enemies? to keep secrets not just from his family, but from his father?
the line of thought continues as he stares down into his beer: he's already keeping secrets. and has been, for a long time. besides, it's not like he's trading away secrets or giving up information. this is just for fucking. a distraction. an escape. ]
Might work for a while.
[ until they have the fortitude to find a better way to get in contact without having everyone around them realize something's going on. ]
no subject
We can figure something else later, I guess.
[ later, christ. every time david runs into a reminder of how he's just accepted this situation it makes his stomach drop. he feels like he just keeps running headlong into the dumbest decision he could possibly make, but no amount of self-awareness can make him stop. ]
no subject
Yeah. Later.
[ later ... when? short of arranging the meetups weeks ahead of time so there's no planning to track, their only other option as far as he can tell is their occasional accidental meetups turned into hookups. he'll just have to deal with the guilt crushing him over this. won't be anything new, really.
he shakes his head. time to get over the self-pity. ]
So you wanna finish these and crash at your place or just fuck off until I get what I need?
[ the phone. he can't even say it at this point. ]
no subject
Yeah, we can crash at mine.
[ this is so stupid. david shakes his head as he opens his next beer. but it's progress? whether or not this is something he wants progress on is a different issue. shouldn't want it, he knows, but it is what it is. ]
no subject
as if that's not the whole reason he called david out here. figuring it out. ]
Finally get to see what kind of gaudy shithole you live in.
[ his smirk is thin, but slightly less nasty than it would be before all this. he's kind of interested to see it - whether david lives like he shows off in everyday life, or if he's more like evan: with nothing to show that the place is his. ]
no subject
Can't wait to see if I live up to your expectations.
[ david knows evan's expectations are probably extremely different to the reality of an apartment david's been using as more or less a second home for maybe a decade now, but he's interested to see what the look on his face is going to be. ]
no subject
he tilts his beer in david's direction, almost a salute. ]
I'm sure you'll fuck it up.
[ he finishes off the drink and grimaces at the crowd. getting out will have its own problems. he'll wait for david to leave first, the same way they do things when it's his place they're going to. then he'll follow, going a different route (probably), showing up later, just in case. ]
no subject
Maybe.
[ he gets up to leave once he's set his empty down, straightens his jacket and gives evan a little two-fingered wave before he heads out. it shouldn't take him too long to get to his place, even taking a more roundabout route just in case. he'll get there a decent amount of time before evan anyway. ]
no subject
he takes his time to make sure that nobody's following him (they aren't) and to make sure he gets there after david. he's not going to hang around, being noticed. in a place like that someone will, even if they don't know who he is. no records of him in this shitty place need to exist.
the building is even more of a shithole than he one he lives in, but again, that's a hiding strategy. nobody would expect david lives here. he sure as hell never would have guessed it. there's a part of him thinking, planning, ready to move in, land the killing blow ... but he waves it off today. david hasn't torn up his apartment. fair play not to do the same to his.
the door looks ready to fall apart at a knock, but he does it anyway. lightly. loud enough to be heard inside but maybe not in the other apartments nearby. ]
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[ the little entranceway is just as dilapidated as the outside — peeling paint, old mail on the floor, cobwebs on the ceiling — but it's just to maintain appearances in case he ever has to answer the door or if someone tries to take a peek when he's coming in or out. if it looks like some random guy is just squatting in an abandoned apartment, nobody's gonna give a shit. ]
[ the place itself is a well-sized studio. it was originally a safehouse, but their plans for the area fell through, then the area itself started falling apart, and the apartment went forgotten with it. so david took it over, made it his little by little over the years. moved in furniture that's nothing fancy or especially high quality, but it's good enough. little bits and pieces from home to here. a couch and a tv with a coffee table, a little table and chairs by the kitchenette, a bookshelf with odds and ends and a few dogeared old books. there's an electric piano shoved up against the wall by the bookshelf with a dust cover draped over it, and the dust cover is doing overtime based on the thick layer coating it. bed and desk way in the back — nothing special, but that mattress is probably the only thing in there that he spent real money on. ]
So, how'd I do?
[ it's mostly a joke. ]
no subject
there's furniture, there's evidence of a life lived. he looks around in silence, taking in the little details. it's still not what he expects of david. not the flashy nightmare he suspects his actual apartment or room at home might look like. but it's more than what he's got.
that could be a bad thing to know for both of them. but he's here anyway. ]
Could be worse.
[ the untouched electric piano has his attention for a little longer than it probably should, but the dust loses his attention. evan stops in the kitchenette. ]
This where you go when shit's going bad or when you're hooking up?
[ or both, but his guess is that no women have ever been in here. it's too small, in too bad a place, to be anything but private. ]
no subject
Just a home away from home.
[ so the former, obviously, but david's not going to say it in so many words. it's a quiet, calm place. somewhere he can just decompress or get away from his parents when shit's really bad. ]
[ he stands back, arms folded over his chest while he watches evan take it all in. make any judgements he has to. ]
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he'd be jealous if he recognized why that was. as it is, he just makes a distant noise, eyeing the books, the bed in the corner, the little signs that someone really lives here. ]
Guess it must be one of your other apartments that looks like a fashion magazine.
[ not a very funny joke, but since when was he funny at all? he heads over to the couch and sits down. it's old. the kind he's got, but still a little nicer. that kind of irritates him. ]
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[ david says it with a half amused breath of a laugh — it's not really funny, but it's amusing enough. maybe he could even muster a real laugh if he wasn't so keyed in to evan right now, watching the way he sits on the couch like that means something. ]
[ god he hates the way this all makes him so uncertain. it shouldn't be so difficult for him to know what to do, how to approach this. doesn't know if he's off his game because it's so fucking bizarre to have someone in his space like this, or if it's because it's evan of all fucking people. like suddenly he's got no fucking game. ]
You want a tour?
[ he raises an eyebrow, waits just long enough for evan to think maybe it's a serious question before he goes ahead. gesturing to various parts of the apartment as he speaks. ]
Kitchen, bathroom's just through there. Living room's right here, and, uh. [ he purses his lips, points toward the bed. ] Bedrooms just that way.
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