hardlydead | (( them gods gonna hurt you son; when you play with a loaded gun ))

Yeah, sure. My other place looks like a GQ spread.

[ david says it with a half amused breath of a laugh — it's not really funny, but it's amusing enough. maybe he could even muster a real laugh if he wasn't so keyed in to evan right now, watching the way he sits on the couch like that means something. ]

[ god he hates the way this all makes him so uncertain. it shouldn't be so difficult for him to know what to do, how to approach this. doesn't know if he's off his game because it's so fucking bizarre to have someone in his space like this, or if it's because it's evan of all fucking people. like suddenly he's got no fucking game. ]

You want a tour?

[ he raises an eyebrow, waits just long enough for evan to think maybe it's a serious question before he goes ahead. gesturing to various parts of the apartment as he speaks. ]

Kitchen, bathroom's just through there. Living room's right here, and, uh. [ he purses his lips, points toward the bed. ] Bedrooms just that way.

[ he's not sure what the hell he's doing, but like fuck he was going to keep standing around, looking awkward. at least this is more normal.

he glances around at david's 'tour', wondering if it's possible that david's just as weirded out by all of this as him. it's one thing to go to a borderline abandoned apartment for a drink or a fight or ... the the other shit they've done, but his own space - it must be too strange to handle. otherwise he wouldn't be touring what's basically one room, even as a joke. ]

Studio don't seem like your style.

[ god damn does he want a smoke right now, but he didn't bring any. didn't think this was going to be a stressful night until about two hours ago, and by then he was running on automatic. ]

You used to play the piano?

--Huh?

[ he was halfway through forming some kind of joke about his "style", but the comment on the piano catches him off enough that the look he gives evan is completely baffled for a second. ]

[ it's about as long as it takes for him to remember the dusty old thing by the bookcase, long since forgotten about and faded into the background, and david glances that way with a brief look of recognition. it's not a happy one. ]

No-- I, uh. [ he scratches his chin with a thumb, breathes out a slightly awkward laugh when he looks back at evan. ] I had a friend who did.

[ evan's not the sharpest, a fact he's been made keenly aware of in his life, but even he can see how much that catches david off-guard. because david's usually so confident no matter what, that moment where he falters is evidence that there's something else to that piano.

had a friend. it's clearly not in use, even slightly.

evan looks over at the books instead. ]

Guess if you were top of your class, I can't say I'm surprised you read on your own time.

[ this is... weird. he'd
only really considered the convenience of having a place ready and unwatched that he could bring evan, not the way that bringing him here would allow him insight into him that david would never readily share. he hates it, gives the books a look of contempt as if they intentionally gave him up when david makes the executive decision that he needs a drink to get through this and turns to go pull down a couple of ales from a cupboard. ]

Not so much these days.

[ absently as he opens the bottles, this place is small enough he wouldn't need to raise his voice for evan to hear him from any part of it, and he brings them over with a thoughtful frown. he doesn't remember the last time he read a book. ]

Rarely if ever got the time these days.

[ he sets one bottle down on the coffee table for evan and drops himself down on the couch with the other. ]

[ watching david abruptly go and get a drink, evan considers, briefly, that taking him to an apartment with no life or personality might have done him a favor. aside from the brief interlude with his shirt, david still doesn't know anything else about him. but now evan's got ... well, this.

he's not going to use it unless he has to. it's just surprising. then again, even if he did take him to an in-use apartment, there wouldn't be much to see. ]

Figures.

[ he takes the bottle and ignores the way david's right next to him, as if they haven't been closer already. ]

No time for anything but showing off and doing everyone else's dirty work.

[ that's not the insult he'd like it to be. part of it is a commiseration - because of course his life is exactly the same in too many ways, which still pisses him off to think about. ]

Case of takes one to know one there.

[ david's not smug about saying it, just matter of fact. evan might not show off the same way david does, but in the end how much of a difference does that make? they're both known assholes with their own respective reputations. evan's has to be at least half as deliberately crafted as his is. ]

Yeah. Sure.

[ the drink isn't great. then again, none of them have been. he doesn't comment on it, instead choosing to mull over it, wondering if he should just leave. this was absolutely a bad idea, but ...

he keeps looking around the apartment. seeing the little details, the hints of a life he's hated for decades. neither of them has really known anything about the other until recently, and a part of him thinks it shouldn't have been both of them realizing the other was into men that started all this. hell of a way to develop any kind of acquaintanceship past wanting to beat each other to death. ]

Might be nice having a place like this.

[ well david likes the drink and that's what matters. ]

[ he's also in thought about all this. evan can keep looking around at what he can see if he wants, david can't really stop him, but that's not really what they're here for, is it? are they really both so awkward about this that neither of them knows how to initiate without being wound up first? ]

[ is that... part of it? the being wound up? david takes a deep pull of his drink and sets the bottle down. shifts closer to evan on the couch, enough that he can turn toward him and lean in to graze his teeth along his jawline, lips against his neck just below it. ]

Could settle into that place you've got a bit.

[ david doesn't move away from evan's neck to say it, lifting a hand as he speaks to the other side of his jaw to try and coax him into tilting his head a little. forcibly pulling himself back on track, reminding himself he knows how to get things moving without getting caught in the moment, letting adrenaline and lust drive him. he's been doing it for years with significantly less desire involved after all. ]

[ the abrupt move surprises evan. he almost pulls away, distracted by trying to figure out the life around him even when he knows he shouldn't, but then he remembers: again, this was his idea. coming to david's place specifically. texting him in the first place. because his mind keeps replaying that night, the other nights, everything.

and for once it's in a place nobody from his family would ever even consider knowing about. david's, maybe, but he doubts it, from the way things look.

he lets the hand on his jaw tilt his head away, giving david more space to work with, and sets his drink down maybe a little too carefully. ]

Yeah. Right. Someone'll find out and come looking. Seeing what I'm doing.

[ no home away from home for him. this'll do. as long as there's no bites to suggest they actually did anything. one hand manages, somewhat cautiously, to find its way to david's leg and slide up along his thigh. ]

Don't need that.

You think they'd care hat much?

[ david's not so sure anyone would care that much, but maybe they would. there's probably a reason evan's so much more paranoid than him. david doesn't care enough to push either way, evan's life is his life, very little of it concerns him. as long as he doesn't expect to only be coming here from now on. ]

[ he hums, a quiet note, focusing on the space down his neck (and fighting every urge in his body to bite down and leave a mark.) hand dropping to evan's chest, hips shifting just a bit to encourage the one on his thigh. ]

[ teeth near his throat from someone like david should make him antsy, on-edge, ready to fight back. at this point, though, they've gotten so close before that the urge to get away is duller than it should be. besides, how the fuck would david explain his body in his private apartment? ]

Yeah. Probably. Supposed to be close to home all the time.

[ it's said vaguely, because he's getting distracted. he lets the hand on his chest roam, lets his own hand slide further up david's thigh until it gets awkward and that's about the point he turns and gives david a not exactly rough but not exactly gentle shove back onto the couch. the same as last time, except in a different place.

then he can get his hand to move a little more freely. enough to get over the front of him and squeeze, though not so hard it'll hurt. ]

[ david's always felt he was on a tight leash, but it's nothing compared to evan apparently. if his father tried to impose a rule like that on him, david would make everyone's life a nightmare, and they know it. always available, sure, but not always nearby. ]

[ he'll muse on that later, probably. more than he wants to at that. right now he focuses in on the feeling of evan's hand travelling up his thigh, the way his skin tastes, on giving his chest a generous squeeze. he almost laughs at the shove, contemplates fighting against it, but david is, despite himself, curious. evan wasn't exactly confident last time. he wonders if that's changed. ]

[ it still takes a moment of internal debate before david goes with it though, letting evan shove him. admittedly a little amused by the idea they're going to do this on a couch again when his bed is so close by. ]

[ the couch is convenient. the bed isn't far, but that'd still require moving, wouldn't it? not that evan would object, but -

somehow that would make it different. he'll get there someday. just not quite yet.

like this he can lean in and return the same attention to david's neck - not quite identical, more teeth than he should be using, but nothing that'll leave a mark. one hand stays right where it is, almost ready to try and undo david's belt. the other just about supports him given the uncertainty of this kind of position, at least for now. ]

How much you like that shirt?

Don't rip it.

[ david manages to be stern in that, even as he shifts on the couch to lay back, brings his free hand up to evan's neck to bring him with, keep him close. ]

[ evan makes a disgruntled noise, but in the interest of not getting the same treatment in return, he opts not to tear the damn thing right off david's chest. maybe another time.

instead he shifts his weight so he can lift his supporting hand use it to shove david's shirt up, getting his hand back on the muscles and scars he's getting to be a little too familiar with. if he can get it off, he can get to the point where a bite might work. nowhere visible, but still there. something he can feel. ]

You wanna take it off or just make my life harder?

[ making evan's life harder is always sitting in the bonus, "if you've got time," section of david's to-do list, so the temptation to lean into that is pretty strong. normally he'd just pull it off and be done with it, but another thought comes crashing in that david can't ignore. ]

[ he knows he's going to get pushback on this, so he has to mentally prepare himself for it. still, doesn't stop david from being insufferably smug when he responds. ]

You first.

[ smug and annoying or not, he's completely serious about his desire to get evan out of his shirt. ]

[ the response he gets catches him off guard - enough that he stops what he's doing, the words sinking in and the irritation following right after.

he leans back to glare at david, but there's more frustration than real anger on his face. they went over this before, he thought. david didn't argue then. but maybe they're not desperate or drunk enough right now to just roll with it. ]

I told you. Nothing you wanna see.

[ more accurately, it's nothing he wants david seeing. because it'll end up in questions, explanations, and - things he doesn't want to consider. just stupid all around. ]

[ it's not the kind of anger he anticipated, which is a surprise. that doesn't mean it's not hot on the heels of whatever evan's feeling right now though. david knows better, it's always just there in the background with evan. that doesn't mean he's going to just give up here though. ]

That's not true.

[ he would very much like to see it, actually. but more than that, he just wants evan out of his shirt and david thinks that's completely normal of him. with all the shit they've both dealt with, it honestly strikes david as weird that evan would be, what, shy? embarrassed? of some scars or whatever shit is going on with his back? ]

Sooner you take it off, sooner we can get back to this.

[ how would david know? evan sneers, but doesn't lash out. unfortunately, the ultimatum gets him a little angrier than he wanted to be given the situation.

is he hornier than he is stubborn? generally, no. he's turned down women who got pushy about things he didn't care for, including taking his shirt off. david shouldn't rank higher than any of them. hell, he should be the last person evan strips down for. ]

Why the hell do you care? You need to see me naked that bad?

Why would I wanna see someone I'm hooking up with get their kit off? What a fuckin' mystery.

[ if somebody rolling their eyes had a noise, this would be deafening. usually david's good at coaxing somebody into feeling comfortable, but there's no point in the softly, softly approach with evan. it'd just ring as artificial anyway, he's probably about the last person david would be gentle with and they both know it. ]

So you can come into my home and judge my shit, but you can't take your shirt off? You're that fuckin' precious about it?

[ the second he makes that mental connection, that evan's seen more of him than he wants or is comfortable with, it instantly becomes extremely important to david. because evan's hiding something of himself under that shirt just like david's hid bits of himself away in this studio, and if the logic's faulty he doesn't really care. ]

I wasn't -

[ he cuts himself off. he was judging, a little, but mostly he was just ... trying to figure things out. this is the closest he's gotten to finding out who david might actually be, if there's something under the layers of douchebag. and there might be.

he doesn't make the connection that he's privy to david's secrets and therefore david wants to be privy to his. he just knows that he has to make a choice between getting some - the best some he's ever had in his fucking life - and getting out of here with his shirt still on his back.

for a few seconds there's real concern on his face. something close to embarrassment, or even shame. it's gone quickly, but he's not meeting david's eyes.

fuck. well, if they keep this shit up, it's going to happen eventually anyway, isn't it? he leans back, putting as much of his weight as he can on david's legs - nothing comes without a cost here - and shrugs his jacket off. then, after a pause as he's really reconsidering what he's doing, he pulls his shirt off over his head and drops it. close enough to be in range if he has to snatch it back up.

from the front there's nothing notable, really. the usual old scars, evidence of the life they live. but there's raised skin on his shoulders, disappearing onto his back, and like this he can probably keep david down for a while. ]

[ a more compassionate person might feel bad, and david almost does when he sees the look on evan's face, how he looks away, but it's gone in favour of satisfaction at the way evan doesn't argue or fight him. there's nothing outstanding from the front really, but david catches the scarring on evan's shoulders, remembers what he felt last time. sure, he's curious, but he won't push it. evan did what he asked and that's good enough. ]

[ david pushes himself up, true to his word he pulls his shirt off over his head and drops it on the floor by the couch. quick once that's done to reach for evan's neck to pull him into a kiss so he doesn't have time to linger on whatever he's feeling. ]

[ when there's no mockery, or argument, or demand or smug request, or even any words at all, evan relaxes a little. he waits until david's got his own shirt off and starts leaning back in just as david reaches up to pull him in. this is easier. simpler. his shirt's off, but david's not trying to throw him on his front.

it's still uncomfortable - when was the last time he let this happen? - but it's easy to get distracted. now his hands have free rein. now he can feel whatever david will let him. now he can bite down, leave marks on the collarbone, the shoulder far from where shirt collars might sit, even a little lower down on his chest. leaving behind bruises he's certain nobody will notice. or at least they'd better never notice. he's got some idea of what kind of excuses david will give to explain those away. ]

[ the marks evan left last time have faded (though there's a couple of yellow spots still if someone's really looking) so it's no surprise that he gets to it almost straight away. david hisses at the first bite, but he lets evan move however he wants, zero objections on his part. ]

[ david lets his own hands roam, even if their positions make it a little awkward, pushing a hand up evan's front, feeling out scars and the shapes of his muscles, the shape of his ribs. his other hand moving from evan's neck up to the back of his head, fingers scratching lightly over his scalp. ]

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