hardlydead | (( them gods gonna hurt you son; when you play with a loaded gun ))

[ it's not the kind of anger he anticipated, which is a surprise. that doesn't mean it's not hot on the heels of whatever evan's feeling right now though. david knows better, it's always just there in the background with evan. that doesn't mean he's going to just give up here though. ]

That's not true.

[ he would very much like to see it, actually. but more than that, he just wants evan out of his shirt and david thinks that's completely normal of him. with all the shit they've both dealt with, it honestly strikes david as weird that evan would be, what, shy? embarrassed? of some scars or whatever shit is going on with his back? ]

Sooner you take it off, sooner we can get back to this.

[ how would david know? evan sneers, but doesn't lash out. unfortunately, the ultimatum gets him a little angrier than he wanted to be given the situation.

is he hornier than he is stubborn? generally, no. he's turned down women who got pushy about things he didn't care for, including taking his shirt off. david shouldn't rank higher than any of them. hell, he should be the last person evan strips down for. ]

Why the hell do you care? You need to see me naked that bad?

Why would I wanna see someone I'm hooking up with get their kit off? What a fuckin' mystery.

[ if somebody rolling their eyes had a noise, this would be deafening. usually david's good at coaxing somebody into feeling comfortable, but there's no point in the softly, softly approach with evan. it'd just ring as artificial anyway, he's probably about the last person david would be gentle with and they both know it. ]

So you can come into my home and judge my shit, but you can't take your shirt off? You're that fuckin' precious about it?

[ the second he makes that mental connection, that evan's seen more of him than he wants or is comfortable with, it instantly becomes extremely important to david. because evan's hiding something of himself under that shirt just like david's hid bits of himself away in this studio, and if the logic's faulty he doesn't really care. ]

I wasn't -

[ he cuts himself off. he was judging, a little, but mostly he was just ... trying to figure things out. this is the closest he's gotten to finding out who david might actually be, if there's something under the layers of douchebag. and there might be.

he doesn't make the connection that he's privy to david's secrets and therefore david wants to be privy to his. he just knows that he has to make a choice between getting some - the best some he's ever had in his fucking life - and getting out of here with his shirt still on his back.

for a few seconds there's real concern on his face. something close to embarrassment, or even shame. it's gone quickly, but he's not meeting david's eyes.

fuck. well, if they keep this shit up, it's going to happen eventually anyway, isn't it? he leans back, putting as much of his weight as he can on david's legs - nothing comes without a cost here - and shrugs his jacket off. then, after a pause as he's really reconsidering what he's doing, he pulls his shirt off over his head and drops it. close enough to be in range if he has to snatch it back up.

from the front there's nothing notable, really. the usual old scars, evidence of the life they live. but there's raised skin on his shoulders, disappearing onto his back, and like this he can probably keep david down for a while. ]

[ a more compassionate person might feel bad, and david almost does when he sees the look on evan's face, how he looks away, but it's gone in favour of satisfaction at the way evan doesn't argue or fight him. there's nothing outstanding from the front really, but david catches the scarring on evan's shoulders, remembers what he felt last time. sure, he's curious, but he won't push it. evan did what he asked and that's good enough. ]

[ david pushes himself up, true to his word he pulls his shirt off over his head and drops it on the floor by the couch. quick once that's done to reach for evan's neck to pull him into a kiss so he doesn't have time to linger on whatever he's feeling. ]

[ when there's no mockery, or argument, or demand or smug request, or even any words at all, evan relaxes a little. he waits until david's got his own shirt off and starts leaning back in just as david reaches up to pull him in. this is easier. simpler. his shirt's off, but david's not trying to throw him on his front.

it's still uncomfortable - when was the last time he let this happen? - but it's easy to get distracted. now his hands have free rein. now he can feel whatever david will let him. now he can bite down, leave marks on the collarbone, the shoulder far from where shirt collars might sit, even a little lower down on his chest. leaving behind bruises he's certain nobody will notice. or at least they'd better never notice. he's got some idea of what kind of excuses david will give to explain those away. ]

[ the marks evan left last time have faded (though there's a couple of yellow spots still if someone's really looking) so it's no surprise that he gets to it almost straight away. david hisses at the first bite, but he lets evan move however he wants, zero objections on his part. ]

[ david lets his own hands roam, even if their positions make it a little awkward, pushing a hand up evan's front, feeling out scars and the shapes of his muscles, the shape of his ribs. his other hand moving from evan's neck up to the back of his head, fingers scratching lightly over his scalp. ]

[ there's always going to be tension there, no matter what, but it's a little tighter knowing that his shirt is off. that his back is just ... exposed. but so long as david's hands stay off the worst of things, he won't let it control him. he's capable of that. he's enough of a man to handle it.

the scars on his front aren't an issue, at least. and there's no objection to his own touches and bites. that's fine. so's the hand on the back of his neck. a part of him could probably stay like this for a while.

the rest of him wants to get on with shit, though, and it's not long before his hand is at david's waist, fingers fumbling for a way to get them open, if not off. ]

[ david does his best to mind evan's back, slips his hand up over evan's waist to his lower back, fingers digging in as he urges him in closer. though he lets up a little when he feels evan's hand at his waist. ]

[ there isn't a lot he can do to help, so david settles for shifting his hips under evan to give him a little more space, exhales shakily. ]

[ it takes him a second before he gets the button and zipper, but once he does, there's no more hesitation or uncertainty. they've done this just enough that he's a little closer to comfortable with the idea of it all, and once he has the chance he tries to tug david's pants down a little, fails, gives up and just slides his hand in instead.

less awkwardness, this time around. he gets his hand around david and digs his nails, short as they are, into david's chest, drags them down along his ribs to his stomach, moving his head up to finally give him a reprieve to the biting. for how long, who knows.

he shifts his position, gets his knees somewhere more comfortable. the couch probably isn't the best idea, but the only other option he's willing to entertain is the floor, at least right now. ]

[ the change in sensations draws a gasp out of david, a hissed curse and a slight arch into the hand evan drags down his body. part of him wonders, now the biting's stopped, if evan's like this with the women he sleeps with, if he's this insistent on biting and scratching and leaving his mark, but that thought gets pushed aside in favour of realising there's a hand on his dick and that feels pretty fucking good. ]

[ he doesn't rush to return the favour, but david's hands make their ways there. touch heavy as he moves a hand from evan's neck down over his shoulder to his chest, something almost greedy to the way his fingers splay out over evan's torso as his hands move to find evan's waistband and start trying to work his pants open. ]

[ he doesn't argue about that. doesn't move his hands to hinder, or help. evan just lets david do what he wants because that's also what evan wants, or at least he assumes they're on the same wavelength at this point.

the arch of david's back tells him to keep up with what he's doing, so he does. even without being able to leave any real marks with his nails, he does it again, running his palm flat against david's chest up to his collarbones again and dragging back down with his fingers curled. over a nipple this time, not hard, but hard enough to sting, maybe.

at the same time he's trying to work david free from his pants. it's tricky when he can't get them down very far, but he manages it, mouth pressed against david's neck as he resists the urge to bite. ]

[ he flinches just slightly at the drag over his chest, over his nipple, but the noise david makes is not a complaint, even if it's quiet. he swallows, looks up at the ceiling for a few moments, torn between both the panic and the thrill that twists his gut at evan's mouth on his neck. though it's a lot less than it would've been a month ago. ]

[ david manages to get evan's pants open, just about manages to stop himself ripping the zipper down hard enough to break it, slips his hand into evan's pants to wrap around him. less impatient about it than evan when he starts trying to work him out of his pants. ]

[ it's hard to resist the urge to bite, but he's capable of it, both between his own semi-present self control and his own terror over the idea of being found out. still, he moves his mouth down, closer to the place where neck and shoulder meet just in case he can't keep that up forever.

it's a near thing, though, because when there's a hand around him he just about managed to hold back a sound, teeth scraping david's skin as he turns it into a hiss. not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to feel. his own grip stutters, gets a little too tight before relaxing again. he gets david free and tries to steel himself. easy to do to someone else, hard to deal with himself.

he doesn't tell him to hurry up, though. that might just make things more unbearable for them both. or just fuck him over. hard to tell. ]

[ david shudders at the scrape of teeth, winces at the brief clench of evan's grip, but luckily neither is enough to make him stop what he's doing. working evan out of his pants with an exhale that could be described as triumphant once he's managed it. ]

[ he turns his head a little, wanting to pull evan up into a kiss but also liking where his mouth is now, settles on leaving him to his own devices. free hand stilling at evan's waist while he focuses instead on getting a proper grip on evan. indulgent in the way he starts to move his hand like he's never done this before, like he has to remind himself what evan feels like as if he hasn't thought about it every other night for the past month. ]

[ it's too slow. that's the problem. it's too deliberate. like david's trying to fuck with him, except he's pretty sure david wouldn't do that under the circumstances. after all, evan's got his hand around david's cock, and that can only go wrong if he fucks around.

so maybe he's just dealing with this the same way evan is. still struggling to realize this is even an option, dangerous as it is. ]

Don't - get shy.

[ which is a bold statement coming from the man who's barely doing anything for david other than feeling him out. that much hits him right away, though, and he shifts his grip, strokes david while dragging his nails across what he can reach of david's stomach without actually moving that hand. he doesn't bite or scrape again, but tries not to breathe out too hard against the way every nerve in his body is lighting on fire in a good way. ]

[ that draws a huffed breath of a laugh out of david — for as much fear and apprehension he's had about all of this, shy isn't a thing david thinks he's been at any point. if anything, going the opposite direction, overcompensating with bravado. ]

[ he tilts his head toward evan's, swallows and licks his lips before speaking. ]

You never wanna take your time with something?

[ david smirks a bit to himself as he is deliberately slower in the way he strokes evan, in the way he lets his thumb circle the head of his cock and drag along the underside of it. ]

Get to know all of it, y'know?

[ he can't really argue with that, can he? but he doesn't want david to take his time here, or get to know all of him, even if that just means all of his dick. evan growls against david's shoulder, tempted to bite in retaliation but finding that a little difficult to do when he's also trying to strangle an embarrassing noise. ]

Didn't think you liked me that much.

[ it's sarcastic, for the most part. he's not entirely sure he wants to get to know david that well, except he's in david's space, which has unintentionally led to him knowing more about the man than he ever expected. and has now led to him taking his own shirt off with someone else around. not that this is about liking, but ... it's not where he expected all of this to go, really. ]

Like this more than I don't.

[ is he talking about evan's dick or what they're doing when he says "this"? honestly it's a little of both, the exhale through his nose followed by a quiet groan could attest that much. the man it's attached to doesn't piss david off as much as he used to, so david can mostly tolerate him if it means getting to this. ]

[ is that pathetic? the thought strikes him and he frowns, because of course it is. at least when he was younger it was someone he-- someone he liked, but he supposes there are things about evan he enjoys. like the strangled little noises he tries not to make, something almost endearing about this weird, feral oral fixation he seems to have too. almost. if he thinks about it. which he won't. ]

[ david pauses to move his arm, trying to get a more comfortable position. if evan wants him to go faster that badly then who's david to say no? it's an abrupt change when he picks up again — faster, but not ridiculously so, grip firmer too — definitely just with the goal of getting evan off and nothing to do with the hope he'll be too distracted to talk back. ]

[ that's one way to put it. succinct and terrifying all in one. especially because evan agrees, because if he didn't he wouldn't be risking his life to be here.

fortunately there's not much time for him to dwell on that, because david's sharp change in speed catches him by surprise and the noise he makes against david's skin is a lot less muffled than the others. he catches himself fast after that, but it's too late to drag that back in, so he just growls something indecipherable and returns the favor. they're not sharing a grip this time - this could border on a competition, he thinks vaguely.

and that's fine. their whole existence dealing with each other has been a kind of competition of who could fuck the other over fastest and hardest. this is just the same, except completely different.

he manages to get his hand off david's stomach long enough to get it back on his chest, nails digging in but not dragging. it's hard enough to focus on staying in one piece as it is. ]

[ david would like to think he's above thinking of this as a competition, but that goes out the window somewhere between the noise evan makes and the way he picks up speed in retaliation. ]

[ he grunts in discomfort at the sudden change, overwhelmed for a moment until he forces himself to take a breath, breathes it out shakily. the fingers he has at evan's stomach flexing and scraping over his skin, a brief thing as he gathers himself and then pushes his hand around over evan's hip, around to his lower back, and down the back of his pants to grab his ass. ]

[ the grab is more of a distraction than anything. evan's hand stutters, but doesn't stop. he's honestly not sure what to make of that from david, but, hell, they've been handsy enough with each other already, haven't they? and he doesn't have any particular issues with a hand there, under the circumstances.

there's nothing to spare on him anywhere, just muscle and bone, so that's no different. he gets his own breathing back under some semblance of control and tries to do things that make david have to split his focus. moves his other hand to feel out anything on david's chest, dig in his nails wherever makes him shift and groan.

it's not exactly expert, but there's not much else he can think of. his own attention is pretty much split. he tries to get some leverage back by moving his mouth to david's shoulder proper and biting again, although not so hard that it'll leave a serious mark this time. ]

[ honestly the hand on evan's ass is probably more for himself than anything. it's a good outlet, something to squeeze when he needs to. grip hard, maybe enough to bruise, but he doubts it. ]

[ it's a little frustrating, the way evan's attention at his neck-- his shoulder leaves him open, exposed. he doesn't have evan's need to bite, at least not to the same degree, but he wants something. a neck against his lips, chest under his mouth. he ends up biting his lip on a groan, arching again under evan. ]

[ how long is he going to hold out? evan's not sure. not david - himself. he can deal with a handjob better than this but the circumstances are dangerous, enticing, and he might not have the self-control to manage it. not now.

david makes a sound, makes a move, and evan tries not to respond in kind because that's the kind of thing he likes, just as much as he assumes david does at this point. he tries, inexpertly, to adjust his grip, change from rough speed to something a little more interesting, but it's hard to focus on that when all he wants to do is get off, hard and fast, in david's grip. and david's helping that matter, a lot.

he's not going to hold out, but god damn is he ever going to try. ]

[ whatever evan's doing with his hand confuses david for about half a second, wondering why he's changing what he was doing, and what is he doing now, but for better or worse it works. if it's that evan's moving in a way that particularly works for davod, or if david's just so fucking gone on this that even the bare minimum would do right now, it doesn't really matter. what matters is the way his head tips back with another moan and a hissed curse. ]

[ he grips harder at evan's ass, practically kneading it. he's not going to bother changing what he's doing, as far as he can tell it's exactly what evan wants, and right now david's not interested in messing with him or fighting about it. maybe-- ]

[ this is nothing special, and yet somehow it also is. two assholes jerking eachother off on a couch is practically as basic as gay experiences get, and yet somehow it's better than any sex he's had in recent memory. sure as fuck shouldn't be ready to come this fast, and yet he's so fucking close. barely even manages to recognise just how close he is before he's spilling over evan's hand and onto his own stomach. ]

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