[ david opens his mouth to point out exactly that, as if only one of them is making bad decisions, evan's always so quick to deny accountability for his own shit. david's never really noticed that about him before. it's funny to david, for a moment, that he comes off as the egotistical one. he thinks evan's ego might be bigger and more fragile all around. ]
[ he lets the thoughts and the comments on the tip of his tongue fade to the back when evan goes on. he has a point, the fact they haven't been caught yet is probably burning through all the good luck either of them have. ]
Yeah, probably.
[ david tilts his head, thoughtful. and a little concerned, but that should be understandable, he thinks. ]
No more of this then.
[ he gestures to the table, to their beers. no risking being seen in oublic together seems a good place to start. ]
[ no more of this. that's probably for the best. evan's not social at the best of times, and honestly, he doesn't like going to bars, especially ones like this. he just couldn't find any other excuse to meet up with david other than drinking in communal places. ]
Didn't know a better way to get us in the same place.
[ texting regularly isn't going to work, either, because someone will find them both out eventually. so then how? ]
Can't be too cordial suddenly or someone's gonna get mad. [ he pauses, finds and idea, and hates it immediately. ] Fucking code isn't gonna work either.
[ david's expression falls a bit when he says code's not gonna work, but he has a point. how's it gonna look if someone looks at their messages and see a bunch of code? this is a fucked up situation, sure, but they're still loyal sons. ]
How much attention they pay to you? Could you get away with a burner?
[ it's all he can think of right now. that or he learns to make smoke signals for booty calls. ]
[ evan hesitates. for a second, his face says more than he ever could, or will.
yes, a burner's an option. he's trusted enough that nobody would think twice if he had two phones. but to him, personally, it feels like a betrayal. it is a betrayal. a separate phone just for texting or talking to one of his biggest, long-time enemies? to keep secrets not just from his family, but from his father?
the line of thought continues as he stares down into his beer: he's already keeping secrets. and has been, for a long time. besides, it's not like he's trading away secrets or giving up information. this is just for fucking. a distraction. an escape. ]
Might work for a while.
[ until they have the fortitude to find a better way to get in contact without having everyone around them realize something's going on. ]
[ david's already juggling a couple of numbers, what's one more? he does briefly consider putting evan in the same phone as his other hookups, but that's a dangerous game to play. ]
We can figure something else later, I guess.
[ later, christ. every time david runs into a reminder of how he's just accepted this situation it makes his stomach drop. he feels like he just keeps running headlong into the dumbest decision he could possibly make, but no amount of self-awareness can make him stop. ]
[ it's probably for the best if david doesn't, because if evan found out, they wouldn't need to worry about hiding anything anymore - he'd just kill david outright. or at the very least try. ]
Yeah. Later.
[ later ... when? short of arranging the meetups weeks ahead of time so there's no planning to track, their only other option as far as he can tell is their occasional accidental meetups turned into hookups. he'll just have to deal with the guilt crushing him over this. won't be anything new, really.
he shakes his head. time to get over the self-pity. ]
So you wanna finish these and crash at your place or just fuck off until I get what I need?
[ the phone. he can't even say it at this point. ]
[ david raises an eyebrow at evan's phrasing, but it's whatever. who even really cares at this point. it's probably the least weird thing going on right now. ]
Yeah, we can crash at mine.
[ this is so stupid. david shakes his head as he opens his next beer. but it's progress? whether or not this is something he wants progress on is a different issue. shouldn't want it, he knows, but it is what it is. ]
[ should he have asked that? but he already said they can't keep going to his place. someone's going to notice. or maybe that's not the issue. maybe he shouldn't be continuing this at all.
as if that's not the whole reason he called david out here. figuring it out. ]
Finally get to see what kind of gaudy shithole you live in.
[ his smirk is thin, but slightly less nasty than it would be before all this. he's kind of interested to see it - whether david lives like he shows off in everyday life, or if he's more like evan: with nothing to show that the place is his. ]
[ he assumes evan's already checked out the address, the neighbourhood, half of everything boarded up and abandoned, including the one david stays in. it's a run down neighbourhood with people mostly living there out of spite. the idea of opening up the door to some gaudy, overdecorated mess is funny enough that david snorts. like some kind of annoying "don't judge a book by its cover" story. ]
Can't wait to see if I live up to your expectations.
[ david knows evan's expectations are probably extremely different to the reality of an apartment david's been using as more or less a second home for maybe a decade now, but he's interested to see what the look on his face is going to be. ]
[ the neighborhood surprised him, on that first surreptitious visit, but then again, who'd look for david in a place like that? it's the same principle that got him his shitty apartment. nobody would consider it. it's genius, in a way, except it's the two of them. he knows neither one of them thought that far ahead; they just didn't want to be found.
he tilts his beer in david's direction, almost a salute. ]
I'm sure you'll fuck it up.
[ he finishes off the drink and grimaces at the crowd. getting out will have its own problems. he'll wait for david to leave first, the same way they do things when it's his place they're going to. then he'll follow, going a different route (probably), showing up later, just in case. ]
[ david snorts and tips back the last of his beer. ]
Maybe.
[ he gets up to leave once he's set his empty down, straightens his jacket and gives evan a little two-fingered wave before he heads out. it shouldn't take him too long to get to his place, even taking a more roundabout route just in case. he'll get there a decent amount of time before evan anyway. ]
[ evan lingers a little, waits to see if he recognizes anyone around, and then leaves.
he takes his time to make sure that nobody's following him (they aren't) and to make sure he gets there after david. he's not going to hang around, being noticed. in a place like that someone will, even if they don't know who he is. no records of him in this shitty place need to exist.
the building is even more of a shithole than he one he lives in, but again, that's a hiding strategy. nobody would expect david lives here. he sure as hell never would have guessed it. there's a part of him thinking, planning, ready to move in, land the killing blow ... but he waves it off today. david hasn't torn up his apartment. fair play not to do the same to his.
the door looks ready to fall apart at a knock, but he does it anyway. lightly. loud enough to be heard inside but maybe not in the other apartments nearby. ]
[ david's quick to answer the door, people here tend to mind their business, but he doesn't need someone to get curious for once about evan lingering at his door. that said, david does consider messing with him, but just about manages to stop himself. this time. just steps aside to let evan in and closes the door behind him. ]
[ the little entranceway is just as dilapidated as the outside — peeling paint, old mail on the floor, cobwebs on the ceiling — but it's just to maintain appearances in case he ever has to answer the door or if someone tries to take a peek when he's coming in or out. if it looks like some random guy is just squatting in an abandoned apartment, nobody's gonna give a shit. ]
[ the place itself is a well-sized studio. it was originally a safehouse, but their plans for the area fell through, then the area itself started falling apart, and the apartment went forgotten with it. so david took it over, made it his little by little over the years. moved in furniture that's nothing fancy or especially high quality, but it's good enough. little bits and pieces from home to here. a couch and a tv with a coffee table, a little table and chairs by the kitchenette, a bookshelf with odds and ends and a few dogeared old books. there's an electric piano shoved up against the wall by the bookshelf with a dust cover draped over it, and the dust cover is doing overtime based on the thick layer coating it. bed and desk way in the back — nothing special, but that mattress is probably the only thing in there that he spent real money on. ]
[ once he's past the entryway, he realizes: this is actually an apartment where david lives. it's not just some empty abandoned place to sleep off a hangover or ignore. this is an actual living space.
there's furniture, there's evidence of a life lived. he looks around in silence, taking in the little details. it's still not what he expects of david. not the flashy nightmare he suspects his actual apartment or room at home might look like. but it's more than what he's got.
that could be a bad thing to know for both of them. but he's here anyway. ]
Could be worse.
[ the untouched electric piano has his attention for a little longer than it probably should, but the dust loses his attention. evan stops in the kitchenette. ]
This where you go when shit's going bad or when you're hooking up?
[ or both, but his guess is that no women have ever been in here. it's too small, in too bad a place, to be anything but private. ]
[ evan would be right, david's never brought a woman here. he's only brought a few people here, and all of them were years ago. ]
Just a home away from home.
[ so the former, obviously, but david's not going to say it in so many words. it's a quiet, calm place. somewhere he can just decompress or get away from his parents when shit's really bad. ]
[ he stands back, arms folded over his chest while he watches evan take it all in. make any judgements he has to. ]
[ home away from home. it's a phrase evan's heard before, but even now, he's not sure he's ever experienced it. he's got one home. even the places he goes to try and unwind aren't another home.
he'd be jealous if he recognized why that was. as it is, he just makes a distant noise, eyeing the books, the bed in the corner, the little signs that someone really lives here. ]
Guess it must be one of your other apartments that looks like a fashion magazine.
[ not a very funny joke, but since when was he funny at all? he heads over to the couch and sits down. it's old. the kind he's got, but still a little nicer. that kind of irritates him. ]
Yeah, sure. My other place looks like a GQ spread.
[ david says it with a half amused breath of a laugh — it's not really funny, but it's amusing enough. maybe he could even muster a real laugh if he wasn't so keyed in to evan right now, watching the way he sits on the couch like that means something. ]
[ god he hates the way this all makes him so uncertain. it shouldn't be so difficult for him to know what to do, how to approach this. doesn't know if he's off his game because it's so fucking bizarre to have someone in his space like this, or if it's because it's evan of all fucking people. like suddenly he's got no fucking game. ]
You want a tour?
[ he raises an eyebrow, waits just long enough for evan to think maybe it's a serious question before he goes ahead. gesturing to various parts of the apartment as he speaks. ]
Kitchen, bathroom's just through there. Living room's right here, and, uh. [ he purses his lips, points toward the bed. ] Bedrooms just that way.
[ he's not sure what the hell he's doing, but like fuck he was going to keep standing around, looking awkward. at least this is more normal.
he glances around at david's 'tour', wondering if it's possible that david's just as weirded out by all of this as him. it's one thing to go to a borderline abandoned apartment for a drink or a fight or ... the the other shit they've done, but his own space - it must be too strange to handle. otherwise he wouldn't be touring what's basically one room, even as a joke. ]
Studio don't seem like your style.
[ god damn does he want a smoke right now, but he didn't bring any. didn't think this was going to be a stressful night until about two hours ago, and by then he was running on automatic. ]
[ he was halfway through forming some kind of joke about his "style", but the comment on the piano catches him off enough that the look he gives evan is completely baffled for a second. ]
[ it's about as long as it takes for him to remember the dusty old thing by the bookcase, long since forgotten about and faded into the background, and david glances that way with a brief look of recognition. it's not a happy one. ]
No-- I, uh. [ he scratches his chin with a thumb, breathes out a slightly awkward laugh when he looks back at evan. ] I had a friend who did.
[ evan's not the sharpest, a fact he's been made keenly aware of in his life, but even he can see how much that catches david off-guard. because david's usually so confident no matter what, that moment where he falters is evidence that there's something else to that piano.
had a friend. it's clearly not in use, even slightly.
evan looks over at the books instead. ]
Guess if you were top of your class, I can't say I'm surprised you read on your own time.
[ this is... weird. he'd only really considered the convenience of having a place ready and unwatched that he could bring evan, not the way that bringing him here would allow him insight into him that david would never readily share. he hates it, gives the books a look of contempt as if they intentionally gave him up when david makes the executive decision that he needs a drink to get through this and turns to go pull down a couple of ales from a cupboard. ]
Not so much these days.
[ absently as he opens the bottles, this place is small enough he wouldn't need to raise his voice for evan to hear him from any part of it, and he brings them over with a thoughtful frown. he doesn't remember the last time he read a book. ]
Rarely if ever got the time these days.
[ he sets one bottle down on the coffee table for evan and drops himself down on the couch with the other. ]
[ watching david abruptly go and get a drink, evan considers, briefly, that taking him to an apartment with no life or personality might have done him a favor. aside from the brief interlude with his shirt, david still doesn't know anything else about him. but now evan's got ... well, this.
he's not going to use it unless he has to. it's just surprising. then again, even if he did take him to an in-use apartment, there wouldn't be much to see. ]
Figures.
[ he takes the bottle and ignores the way david's right next to him, as if they haven't been closer already. ]
No time for anything but showing off and doing everyone else's dirty work.
[ that's not the insult he'd like it to be. part of it is a commiseration - because of course his life is exactly the same in too many ways, which still pisses him off to think about. ]
[ david's not smug about saying it, just matter of fact. evan might not show off the same way david does, but in the end how much of a difference does that make? they're both known assholes with their own respective reputations. evan's has to be at least half as deliberately crafted as his is. ]
[ the drink isn't great. then again, none of them have been. he doesn't comment on it, instead choosing to mull over it, wondering if he should just leave. this was absolutely a bad idea, but ...
he keeps looking around the apartment. seeing the little details, the hints of a life he's hated for decades. neither of them has really known anything about the other until recently, and a part of him thinks it shouldn't have been both of them realizing the other was into men that started all this. hell of a way to develop any kind of acquaintanceship past wanting to beat each other to death. ]
[ well david likes the drink and that's what matters. ]
[ he's also in thought about all this. evan can keep looking around at what he can see if he wants, david can't really stop him, but that's not really what they're here for, is it? are they really both so awkward about this that neither of them knows how to initiate without being wound up first? ]
[ is that... part of it? the being wound up? david takes a deep pull of his drink and sets the bottle down. shifts closer to evan on the couch, enough that he can turn toward him and lean in to graze his teeth along his jawline, lips against his neck just below it. ]
Could settle into that place you've got a bit.
[ david doesn't move away from evan's neck to say it, lifting a hand as he speaks to the other side of his jaw to try and coax him into tilting his head a little. forcibly pulling himself back on track, reminding himself he knows how to get things moving without getting caught in the moment, letting adrenaline and lust drive him. he's been doing it for years with significantly less desire involved after all. ]
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[ he lets the thoughts and the comments on the tip of his tongue fade to the back when evan goes on. he has a point, the fact they haven't been caught yet is probably burning through all the good luck either of them have. ]
Yeah, probably.
[ david tilts his head, thoughtful. and a little concerned, but that should be understandable, he thinks. ]
No more of this then.
[ he gestures to the table, to their beers. no risking being seen in oublic together seems a good place to start. ]
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Didn't know a better way to get us in the same place.
[ texting regularly isn't going to work, either, because someone will find them both out eventually. so then how? ]
Can't be too cordial suddenly or someone's gonna get mad. [ he pauses, finds and idea, and hates it immediately. ] Fucking code isn't gonna work either.
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How much attention they pay to you? Could you get away with a burner?
[ it's all he can think of right now. that or he learns to make smoke signals for booty calls. ]
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yes, a burner's an option. he's trusted enough that nobody would think twice if he had two phones. but to him, personally, it feels like a betrayal. it is a betrayal. a separate phone just for texting or talking to one of his biggest, long-time enemies? to keep secrets not just from his family, but from his father?
the line of thought continues as he stares down into his beer: he's already keeping secrets. and has been, for a long time. besides, it's not like he's trading away secrets or giving up information. this is just for fucking. a distraction. an escape. ]
Might work for a while.
[ until they have the fortitude to find a better way to get in contact without having everyone around them realize something's going on. ]
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We can figure something else later, I guess.
[ later, christ. every time david runs into a reminder of how he's just accepted this situation it makes his stomach drop. he feels like he just keeps running headlong into the dumbest decision he could possibly make, but no amount of self-awareness can make him stop. ]
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Yeah. Later.
[ later ... when? short of arranging the meetups weeks ahead of time so there's no planning to track, their only other option as far as he can tell is their occasional accidental meetups turned into hookups. he'll just have to deal with the guilt crushing him over this. won't be anything new, really.
he shakes his head. time to get over the self-pity. ]
So you wanna finish these and crash at your place or just fuck off until I get what I need?
[ the phone. he can't even say it at this point. ]
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Yeah, we can crash at mine.
[ this is so stupid. david shakes his head as he opens his next beer. but it's progress? whether or not this is something he wants progress on is a different issue. shouldn't want it, he knows, but it is what it is. ]
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as if that's not the whole reason he called david out here. figuring it out. ]
Finally get to see what kind of gaudy shithole you live in.
[ his smirk is thin, but slightly less nasty than it would be before all this. he's kind of interested to see it - whether david lives like he shows off in everyday life, or if he's more like evan: with nothing to show that the place is his. ]
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Can't wait to see if I live up to your expectations.
[ david knows evan's expectations are probably extremely different to the reality of an apartment david's been using as more or less a second home for maybe a decade now, but he's interested to see what the look on his face is going to be. ]
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he tilts his beer in david's direction, almost a salute. ]
I'm sure you'll fuck it up.
[ he finishes off the drink and grimaces at the crowd. getting out will have its own problems. he'll wait for david to leave first, the same way they do things when it's his place they're going to. then he'll follow, going a different route (probably), showing up later, just in case. ]
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Maybe.
[ he gets up to leave once he's set his empty down, straightens his jacket and gives evan a little two-fingered wave before he heads out. it shouldn't take him too long to get to his place, even taking a more roundabout route just in case. he'll get there a decent amount of time before evan anyway. ]
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he takes his time to make sure that nobody's following him (they aren't) and to make sure he gets there after david. he's not going to hang around, being noticed. in a place like that someone will, even if they don't know who he is. no records of him in this shitty place need to exist.
the building is even more of a shithole than he one he lives in, but again, that's a hiding strategy. nobody would expect david lives here. he sure as hell never would have guessed it. there's a part of him thinking, planning, ready to move in, land the killing blow ... but he waves it off today. david hasn't torn up his apartment. fair play not to do the same to his.
the door looks ready to fall apart at a knock, but he does it anyway. lightly. loud enough to be heard inside but maybe not in the other apartments nearby. ]
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[ the little entranceway is just as dilapidated as the outside — peeling paint, old mail on the floor, cobwebs on the ceiling — but it's just to maintain appearances in case he ever has to answer the door or if someone tries to take a peek when he's coming in or out. if it looks like some random guy is just squatting in an abandoned apartment, nobody's gonna give a shit. ]
[ the place itself is a well-sized studio. it was originally a safehouse, but their plans for the area fell through, then the area itself started falling apart, and the apartment went forgotten with it. so david took it over, made it his little by little over the years. moved in furniture that's nothing fancy or especially high quality, but it's good enough. little bits and pieces from home to here. a couch and a tv with a coffee table, a little table and chairs by the kitchenette, a bookshelf with odds and ends and a few dogeared old books. there's an electric piano shoved up against the wall by the bookshelf with a dust cover draped over it, and the dust cover is doing overtime based on the thick layer coating it. bed and desk way in the back — nothing special, but that mattress is probably the only thing in there that he spent real money on. ]
So, how'd I do?
[ it's mostly a joke. ]
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there's furniture, there's evidence of a life lived. he looks around in silence, taking in the little details. it's still not what he expects of david. not the flashy nightmare he suspects his actual apartment or room at home might look like. but it's more than what he's got.
that could be a bad thing to know for both of them. but he's here anyway. ]
Could be worse.
[ the untouched electric piano has his attention for a little longer than it probably should, but the dust loses his attention. evan stops in the kitchenette. ]
This where you go when shit's going bad or when you're hooking up?
[ or both, but his guess is that no women have ever been in here. it's too small, in too bad a place, to be anything but private. ]
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Just a home away from home.
[ so the former, obviously, but david's not going to say it in so many words. it's a quiet, calm place. somewhere he can just decompress or get away from his parents when shit's really bad. ]
[ he stands back, arms folded over his chest while he watches evan take it all in. make any judgements he has to. ]
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he'd be jealous if he recognized why that was. as it is, he just makes a distant noise, eyeing the books, the bed in the corner, the little signs that someone really lives here. ]
Guess it must be one of your other apartments that looks like a fashion magazine.
[ not a very funny joke, but since when was he funny at all? he heads over to the couch and sits down. it's old. the kind he's got, but still a little nicer. that kind of irritates him. ]
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[ david says it with a half amused breath of a laugh — it's not really funny, but it's amusing enough. maybe he could even muster a real laugh if he wasn't so keyed in to evan right now, watching the way he sits on the couch like that means something. ]
[ god he hates the way this all makes him so uncertain. it shouldn't be so difficult for him to know what to do, how to approach this. doesn't know if he's off his game because it's so fucking bizarre to have someone in his space like this, or if it's because it's evan of all fucking people. like suddenly he's got no fucking game. ]
You want a tour?
[ he raises an eyebrow, waits just long enough for evan to think maybe it's a serious question before he goes ahead. gesturing to various parts of the apartment as he speaks. ]
Kitchen, bathroom's just through there. Living room's right here, and, uh. [ he purses his lips, points toward the bed. ] Bedrooms just that way.
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he glances around at david's 'tour', wondering if it's possible that david's just as weirded out by all of this as him. it's one thing to go to a borderline abandoned apartment for a drink or a fight or ... the the other shit they've done, but his own space - it must be too strange to handle. otherwise he wouldn't be touring what's basically one room, even as a joke. ]
Studio don't seem like your style.
[ god damn does he want a smoke right now, but he didn't bring any. didn't think this was going to be a stressful night until about two hours ago, and by then he was running on automatic. ]
You used to play the piano?
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[ he was halfway through forming some kind of joke about his "style", but the comment on the piano catches him off enough that the look he gives evan is completely baffled for a second. ]
[ it's about as long as it takes for him to remember the dusty old thing by the bookcase, long since forgotten about and faded into the background, and david glances that way with a brief look of recognition. it's not a happy one. ]
No-- I, uh. [ he scratches his chin with a thumb, breathes out a slightly awkward laugh when he looks back at evan. ] I had a friend who did.
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had a friend. it's clearly not in use, even slightly.
evan looks over at the books instead. ]
Guess if you were top of your class, I can't say I'm surprised you read on your own time.
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only really considered the convenience of having a place ready and unwatched that he could bring evan, not the way that bringing him here would allow him insight into him that david would never readily share. he hates it, gives the books a look of contempt as if they intentionally gave him up when david makes the executive decision that he needs a drink to get through this and turns to go pull down a couple of ales from a cupboard. ]
Not so much these days.
[ absently as he opens the bottles, this place is small enough he wouldn't need to raise his voice for evan to hear him from any part of it, and he brings them over with a thoughtful frown. he doesn't remember the last time he read a book. ]
Rarely if ever got the time these days.
[ he sets one bottle down on the coffee table for evan and drops himself down on the couch with the other. ]
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he's not going to use it unless he has to. it's just surprising. then again, even if he did take him to an in-use apartment, there wouldn't be much to see. ]
Figures.
[ he takes the bottle and ignores the way david's right next to him, as if they haven't been closer already. ]
No time for anything but showing off and doing everyone else's dirty work.
[ that's not the insult he'd like it to be. part of it is a commiseration - because of course his life is exactly the same in too many ways, which still pisses him off to think about. ]
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[ david's not smug about saying it, just matter of fact. evan might not show off the same way david does, but in the end how much of a difference does that make? they're both known assholes with their own respective reputations. evan's has to be at least half as deliberately crafted as his is. ]
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[ the drink isn't great. then again, none of them have been. he doesn't comment on it, instead choosing to mull over it, wondering if he should just leave. this was absolutely a bad idea, but ...
he keeps looking around the apartment. seeing the little details, the hints of a life he's hated for decades. neither of them has really known anything about the other until recently, and a part of him thinks it shouldn't have been both of them realizing the other was into men that started all this. hell of a way to develop any kind of acquaintanceship past wanting to beat each other to death. ]
Might be nice having a place like this.
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[ he's also in thought about all this. evan can keep looking around at what he can see if he wants, david can't really stop him, but that's not really what they're here for, is it? are they really both so awkward about this that neither of them knows how to initiate without being wound up first? ]
[ is that... part of it? the being wound up? david takes a deep pull of his drink and sets the bottle down. shifts closer to evan on the couch, enough that he can turn toward him and lean in to graze his teeth along his jawline, lips against his neck just below it. ]
Could settle into that place you've got a bit.
[ david doesn't move away from evan's neck to say it, lifting a hand as he speaks to the other side of his jaw to try and coax him into tilting his head a little. forcibly pulling himself back on track, reminding himself he knows how to get things moving without getting caught in the moment, letting adrenaline and lust drive him. he's been doing it for years with significantly less desire involved after all. ]
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