hardlydead | (( them gods gonna hurt you son; when you play with a loaded gun ))

Nah.

[ that's true enough. david doesn't even register the comment as anything supportive, if it's even meant that way, just an honest dig at their fellow attendees. he tips back what's left of his champagne and sets the glass aside. ]

All too busy tryin' to one up eachother 'cause the only thing that matters is being top outta a bunch of vapid fucks.

[ his father, at least, has earned some respect. partially because their family goes back generations, and assholes like this love that shit, partially because he put in the time and the money. mostly just because he's the fucker in charge. bunch of people who'll probably be chatting david up when it's his turn at the helm after treating him like shit this whole time. ]

[ there's some class resentment there, or at least evan would understand that if he knew the term. all he can really understand is david's frustration. the only reason people don't patronize him to that degree is because he's not as personable. he takes it to heart, immediately.

one of the few things his father doesn't actively punish him for acting out about. probably because it leaves such an impression. ]

One wrong move and they're dead.

[ which isn't so different from anyone else's life, but. ]

Or at the bottom of the social circle.

Prefer the former if I'm honest.

[ is that too grim? probably doesn't matter given who he's talking to. ]

Course I guess both're about the same to them.

[ david slips off his jacket, just out of a desire to feel a little bit less stiff, careful (yet quick and easy, clearly a familiar motion) in the way he smooths it down and folds it over his arm before he drapes it over a railing to make sure it doesn't wrinkle while it's off. ]

[ he rolls his shoulders, puts his hands down on the railing and leans into it to stretch out a little like he's stiff from sitting at a desk or some shit. ]

I ever end up like one of them, don't even fuckin' fight me, yeah? Just take a gun and end it.

[ it's less of a joke than he'd like honestly. ]

[ evan wishes he'd been looking away when david did that. the practiced, casual ease of taking off the suit coat, so it's just the black shirt underneath, the way it clings in ways the jacket obviously didn't -

it's no less familiar than if he was taking off a jacket to fight. or at least, it shouldn't be. it still leaves evan silent, his mouth unusually dry. maybe he does need a drink.

the response is slower to come than it should be as he deliberately turns to glare out at the city again, trying to focus on the way the lights in the buildings almost make patterns, if he focuses. ]

Yeah. Sure. [ that's not good enough. ] You won't even see it coming.

[ david glances evan's way, eyebrow raised at that response. even after he spotted evan watching him earlier, it doesn't occur to him that this could be anything similar. initial assumption just that evan's tired or something, that's why it's such an underwhelming answer. ]

Thought you'd be a little more excited at the prospect.

[ evan snorts at that. ]

If I wanted to shoot you, I'd have done it years ago.

[ not that it wouldn't be satisfying, but he doesn't want to shoot david. he wants him dead by his own hands, as literally as possible. but that's not really what he's thinking about now.

he can't tell him to put the jacket back on, because that's not going to help matters at all. ]

Don't worry. I'll fuck it all up for you if you get that bad.

[ david exhales through his nose, a quietly amused noise, and nods in apparent acceptance of the answer. though, because of who he is as a person, he can't help being a little shit and fixes evan with a raised eyebrow and a hint of a smirk. ]

So you don't wanna shoot me?

[ lighthearted, gently teasing, because he knows what evan means but this is also funnier. ]

[ he glares at david this time, turning away from the city, wishing he didn't have to but knowing the full force of his anger isn't going to make any difference when it's aimed away from david.

not that it usually has much effect anyway, but. ]

Would've put ten in your back by now if that was all I wanted. When I take you out, it ain't gonna be that easy.

[ ... for david. it won't be easy for david. ]

[ under normal circumstances, "when I take you out" is practically a lay up, the joke's right there. david's expression makes it clear he's about to say something stupid, but it doesn't make it past that first stop where he remembers who he's talking to and suddenly stops himself. clearing his throat and glancing back out at the city. ]

When's pretty ambitious.

[ it lacks the bite, david can hear it, but what's he gonna do? flirt as a way of talking shit? with evan? those days might be over, it seems. ]

[ the double entendre went right past evan when he said it, but in the brief few moments before david responds, it hits him, and he wants to gouge out his own eyes.

david's followup lacks the snarl and bite he might expect ... or the subtle, aimed flirtation that would have driven him to a rage before everything that happened. god damn it. now they're both stuck in the same pit. he should have just left david alone with his drink. ]

Yeah, well.

[ that can't be how he ends it. ]

'If' doesn't cut it.

[ not with his family, and his life. of course, neither does the back end of decidedly not flirting with a lifelong enemy. ]

[ david's quiet for a long moment, a frown on his face in response to the lack of heat from evan. get what you give and all that, but considering the both of them have been champing at the bit to kill eachother practically their whole lives, this is... concerning. takes the sport right out of it, the stuff that keeps the hate and anger simmering until they can vent at least a little of it with their fists. ]

[ could just ignore it. with anyone else he might, if this was a one-sided problem, david definitely would, but truthfully he's never been a fan of leaving things alone, even if it's a massive fucking elephant taking up a tiny room. if something's on his mind, david prefers to just address it and move on, even if it makes him look stupid. the pragmatist in him says it's because shit can fester and grow and become a real problem if left like that, but maybe he just has so much baggage already he can't handle taking on any more. ]

[ he turns to lean a hip side-on against the parapet, folds his arms over his chest with a frown deeper than a moment ago. ]

We've gotta do something about this. Can't be havin' these weird awkward moments-- Not with you.

[ evan almost visibly tenses when david says that.

no, he doesn't want to do anything about it, but david's got a point. someone's going to notice the way they act around each other has changed, and not in a way that should make sense with them having nearly killed each other in public. they shouldn't have ended up being almost at peace with each other. they should be still trying to kill each other. or at least trying to sabotage each other's lives.

deliberately, anyway.

his glare hardens. he wants to storm back into the party, of all things, the anger trying to take over but being chokechained by the knowledge of what'll happen if he lets that happen. instead, he snaps out a response he didn't think about before saying it. ]

Like what? Make out in some dark corner where nobody's gonna find us to try and - and fucking cut the tension?

[ as a response, it visibly stuns david for a moment, surprised by evan saying that of all things. ]

I-- Maybe?

[ it's not what he would've suggested, but then again david doesn't know what he would've suggested. experience says that's not the smart play — he's suggested to enough women they should fuck to get him off their minds and it just roots him deeper in there, but those are people who are actually attracted to him. there's no attraction here, obviously. just some awkwardness borne of sharing similar trauma. ]

I dunno, I mean - would that help?

[ david's surprise is a little gratifying, but evan's mostly shocked at himself. there's people twenty feet away who could be listening in to try and find something to sabotage either of them with. destroy both families, or just one.

and acting on it - no. hell no. he's insane. he's lost his goddamned mind. for a second, the sheer hatred and misery of it shows on his face, but it's gone quickly, replaced by the usual anger. ]

Not here. We'll get caught. Fuck up everything way worse.

[ but maybe somewhere else - no, he can't entertain that thought, either. ]

[ is this what they're doing? david raises an eyebrow, looks from evan to the door he came through. some dark corner, huh? this place has plenty of nooks and crannies and backrooms, but somewhere nobody's gonna see them? ]

What's upstairs? Just storage, right?

[ he wasn't expecting david to take it this seriously.

why wouldn't he? he started - no, he escalated this. evan started it. he keeps starting it, over and over. why didn't he just stay inside and try to look threatening? he can do that forever; keeping it up for a few hours couldn't have been a problem.

just say no, he tells himself, just say - ]

I don't know. Only been here a few times. [ but nobody goes upstairs. it's not a house, it's a reception hall, someone's private party place. they probably have hidden places and even rooms to rent, but they can't - ] But there's a - staircase around back.

[ he looked it up as a means of finding an escape if things went to shit. he didn't check where it led, because it wasn't outside and wasn't a fire escape. ]

[ one of them should say no. should stop this right here. the fact that they're indulging this is the problem. but letting it stew would just make it worse too, right? the fuck else can they do? ]

Nobody's gonna be up there either way.

[ david tilts his head, thinking. ]

If this is what we're gonna do, I mean.

[ evan looks back at the party, but nobody's paying attention. nobody's even seen them. nobody wants either of their attention. they've played their part, and now they're forgotten, the heirs that only exist to be shown off for a little while. he can't use that as an excuse to back off.

he could use the threat of it, or leaning on his own sanity, to say no. but just like both times in his apartment, there's a pull there he doesn't really want to resist. ]

Party ain't going all night.

[ whether that means they should hurry or not bother isn't clear, but either way, evan turns and heads down the balcony, willing david to (not) follow. expecting disappointment and suspecting he's not going to get it.

there is a staircase. metal, installed later over what used to be a ladder, if the marks on the wall are any indication. he heads up, making sure it doesn't creak too much, and for some reason the storage door is unlocked. it's dusty and looks like someone was here recently, dragging out something big and heavy. maybe they left it unlocked in case they needed more.

but it's a dark storeroom with plenty of places to keep out of sight, even if someone does come up here.

he's so fucked. ]

[ david takes a moment when evan starts off, just to take a deep breath and think for a second. nobody cares that he's missing, his parents have probably noticed, but they'll have their own assumptions about what he's doing. ironically not that far off the truth, apparently, and yet they'd never guess-- ]

[ what a weird fucking night. ]

[ he grabs his jacket and follows after evan, careful and quiet as he heads up the stairs, and peeks his head in first before he goes through the door. drapes his jacket over a folded-up table and looks around at what he can see of this place in the dark. ]

[ what the fuck is he doing honestly. he has no clue. but here he is. ]

[ there's not much light, whether the do's open or shut. some dim bulbs up at the ceiling, dusty and fading over the years. they cast long shadows and show off all the darkest hidden places they could be.

he hears david follow him and half wishes he didn't. if david had just turned around and left, this would be so much simpler. now they're up here, together, alone.

once he hears the door shut he half-turns to give david a glower. it probably goes missed in the darkness, because he can barely make out more than a silhouette of david anyway.

then he turns and steps into the shadows, hands curled into fists against the shaking. he's not taking any chances, aside from the most massive and obvious one. ]

[ the glower isn't seen, but it's assumed. he knows evan well enough, after all. too well. maybe that's part of the problem. ]

[ david swallows, steps closer to evan, but not too close just yet. this was evan's idea, but david still feels a need to make sure this is what he wants, even if he doesn't want to want it. this only works if it's satisfying something for them, and maybe being clear headed about it this time will help. ]

You tell me to piss off and I'm gone. Take myself downstairs and forget all about this.

[ voice low so it doesn't travel far beyond them in this dim, dingy room. it feels silly to put this much weight on what, as far as he can tell, is just gonna be some making out. but it's making out that could ruin both their lives, so david's words are halfway reassurance, halfway looking for confirmation. a reminder too that he's not pushing here. evan has just as much control over this as david does. ]

[ for some reason, what david says pisses him off more than it reassures him. sure, there's a part of him that appreciates it, but the fact is that both of them have everything to lose here.

he's the one who brought it up. he wouldn't have even considered it if there wasn't a dark, strangled part of him that wanted to be here. no, it's not ideal. twenty feet below them is everyone who could destroy them. he really shouldn't be doing this. but he's as frustrated as david is with the way things have changed between them. it used to be so easy to hate him.

so he turns, as david follows him, and says nothing. just reaches out and grabs him by the tie - where it's knotted up by the shirt, where any damage is easily fixed or hidden - and drags him in and kisses him and it's hard and furious desperate. his other hand finally gets to touch that fucking shirt, black silk that feels exactly like he imagined it would, and feel the hard muscles underneath. ]

[ well, that's as good a response as any. ]

[ david responds in kind once he catches himself, furious with this situation, with evan, with how close this is to ruining everything and yet he can't stop himself. ]

[ he brings a hand to the back of evan's neck to hold him, other hand sliding under his jacket and over his hip. a brief consideration before he's shoving evan back toward the nearest wall to pin him against it and keep as little distance between their bodies as possible. ]

[ in one second this could ruin his whole life. but he can't stop. he's never been truly impulsive, except when it comes to violence; even when dealing with women he was never this stupid. there was no sneaking away during high-profile events to do something like this, because that would have gotten him in shit, although maybe not particularly deep shit. this? this is fatal.

but all he does is dig his fingers into david's shirt harder.

he snarls when his back hits the wall but doesn't push david off. not when they're this close. not when he can let go of his tie and get both hands on his chest instead, feeling every line of muscle under the silk. not when there's hands on him in turn. when he can feel the heat searing between them.

and he thinks, as he tries to avoid biting too much, that this isn't going to do shit to cut the tension in the long run. ]

[ in the back of his mind, he's practically yelling at himself. because he's smarter than this, david knows he is. there's a reason it's been only women for this long, even if he doesn't even like women, it works well enough. so why, if he's gonna risk that, is it with probably the worst possible man he could've chosen? ]

[ he doesn't know. all david knows is evan's body is broad and strong and his fingers hesitate at the waistband of evan's pants with the desire to get his hand under his shirt and feel his skin, map the lines and contours of his muscles with his fingers. another time, he thinks, and winces at the words flitting through his mind. ]

[ it's not enough. it's glaringly obvious for david in every little thing he has to stop himself doing; when he shifts his weight and stops himself just shy of pressing a thigh forward between evan's legs. thinks about how he'd love to leave a mark on his neck and knows that there's no fucking way. ]

[ maybe it won't ever be enough. david pulls his hand back so he can undo evan's jacket and splay his hand out over his torso, push his palm up to his ribs where he can feel the way they expand when evan breathes. he already has a more intimate knowledge of evan at this point, why did he think just making out would satisfy anything? especially here, now, when he has to be so restrained so they can keep up appearances when they're done? ]

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