hardlydead | (( them gods gonna hurt you son; when you play with a loaded gun ))

[ it takes evan a second to get a grip on himself when david pulls away, because part of him - most of him, actually - doesn't want this to end. he wants to stay right up here and finish things off. but he was being honest: if this kept going, david had to finish it, and evan knows he probably wouldn't be able to return the favor right now.

his hands don't quite shake as he goes to redo his shirt, having to jam it back under the waistband of his pants because david yanked it out so effectively. the tie's a little harder to fix, but it wasn't great in the first place, so that's fine.

he watches david button up his shirt again, hiding the red marks that might be bruises later, and wonders if he'll still want to see those in a few days, or a week, or whenever the hell they can find time to get back to this. if he doesn't start to regret this so much he ignores every text and call.

because he regretted the last two times so much, right? ]

You head back first. They'll be looking for you.

[ and by the time david's re-integrated, evan will just sort of show up. nobody will suspect their disappearances were linked. nobody's going to care.

he hopes. ]

[ once his shirt's buttoned up, david looks down at his tie with a frown, pulls it loose so he can do it back up. there's some wrinkles he'd rather not have thanks to the way evan pulled it, but nobody'll be able to tell once it's done up. by this point in the night he's probably still more put together than a bunch of the guys in there. ]

[ he picks up his jacket next, puts it back on, silently dreading... everything. going back is bad enough on its own, but after this? it's gonna be on his mind all night. ]

Alright. [ he smooths his lapels down and then looks up at evan with a sigh, back up a couple steps toward the door. ] Be seein' you.

[ evan doesn't reply to that - not out loud, at least. there's a lot of things he could say, but he just grunts instead, fixing the cuffs on his sleeves, doing other little tedious things until david leaves, and he's left alone in the darkness, debating his next move.

it should probably be doing literally anything other than setting this up for a run-in later. but he's hard, and he's frustrated, and he wishes he had any kind of real self-control so that he could have headed this off before they even started. made his offer into an actual joke. stopped this in its tracks.

then he'd only just wonder, instead of knowing what he might be missing.

he gives it ten minutes before heading down. his father's still busy, no surprise, and nobody even looks sideways at him when he slips back in with the rest of the macmillan flunkies. just out for a break. too much smoke. someone offers him a drink, but he turns it down.

he pointedly avoids looking to see if david's in range. that'll just make life worse for both of them. ]

[ david's father makes a big show of wondering where he'd gone when david eventually comes back, but it's obvious to david he doesn't actually care so much as he's relieved david hasn't gone and caused a ruckus somewhere. david just gives a noncommittal answer that seems to satisfy everyone and slips easily back into the conversation. ]

[ he tries his best for the rest of the night to ignore evan, not look his way, but david is, unfortunately, hyper aware of his presence. it feels like it's always been that way; the second he knows evan's around, it's impossible not to have some part of himself attuned to him, watching him even when he's not. this time is just for different reasons. ]

[ reasons david is doing his damndest not to think about, especially not when he's with his fucking parents of all people. not that it's working, given his dad nudges him once when he notices david's gaze fixed on evan, probably assuming he wants to storm over and throw down. ]

[ aside from that little blip, david does manage to ignore evan's existence for the rest of the night, at least until things start winding down a few hours later. people idling out to go home or to actual parties or wherever, a couple of people invite david out but he politely declines. partially because, well, he hates them too much to pretend it'd be a good time. but he can't help himself being distracted, looking at the people who're left and leaving. not that he's trying to see if evan's still here, but the question goes through his mind. ]

[ evan manages to ignore david, or at least ignore his presence, well enough. nobody questions him. and as the hours pass, he cools down considerably, grimly wondering if he just made a series of stupid decisions (clearly) and if there's any way to back out of them (possibly). he keeps his distance from where david is and keeps to the other macmillan men, who don't have much to say but are enough of a distraction to keep him from thinking about david getting hands on him again.

by the end of the night, as things are winding down, his father reappears much drunker than he was before. not smashed, because he's old enough to not do something that stupid, but in a definite mood. evan takes the brunt of it as usual, but as they're starting to escort him toward the exit evan glances up and sees david.

who's looking straight at him.

for a few seconds their eyes lock and of course someone makes a comment about him starting a fight now of all times? and evan's response is delayed, because in that second all the cooling-off evaporates, and it's not because of rage. he considers his options. later was supposed to be days, maybe a week. not when everyone was leaving. but suddenly he's thinking about it again, and it's like he's back up in that shitty dark storeroom.

he manages to back off, though, and they get his father outside, ignoring the raised voice, the grumbling, the grip on his shoulder that hurts, until they get him in the car. then, despite everything he knows, he tells the others to get him home and he'll follow later. ]

[ once they're ready to call it a night, david spends the time waiting for the car trying to assess the situation between his parents before he decides what to do. luckily he's not picking up on any mood from his father, so he and his mother have no issues sending them home without him, which is a relief because he doesn't think he could stomach spending the rest of the night playing Good Son after having to perform all evening. they don't ask any questions, they rarely do anymore. ]

[ what's a surprise is when he's seen them off, when he looks up and sees evan there still. the man is practically his father's shadow, so understandably david assumed evan would've left with him. ]

[ david swallows, uncertain. that fucking storeroom crashes back into his mind with a desire to finish what they started, but there's about a million reasons he hesitates. they can't just go back up there now, for one. staff'll be going in and out, packing up after all this. and he can't just go over to evan and ask, even if nobody overhears, there's enough people here to flag it as weird if david approaches him for a friendly conversation. ]

[ after a moment, something occurs to him. david takes his cigarettes and his lighter out of his inside pocket and repeats things from earlier on the balcony, a frown on his face as it doesn't light. nobody's going to think a thing of this, casual if a little reluctant when he approaches evan. ]

You got a light?

[ there's less suspicion in him leaving his father to the other these days. he's an adult. he has ... something that resembles a life. after a party like this, there's not going to be much to do except go home and get yelled at, and at this point, people have an understanding of why he might not want to deal with that.

so they leave him be. even the other people leaving, eyeing him suspiciously, eventually turn away. on his own, in a place like this, he doesn't really stand out.

david's approach makes his gut clench, but he keeps his expression cool and impassive. they've been on cordial terms all night, so why wouldn't that stay the same? but they've got no reason to talk -

he doesn't quite sneer, but it's there on the edge of things. enough to dissuade any suspicion, he really, really hopes. ]

Can't keep one full, huh?

[ he pulls his own out and offers it to david exactly the same way he did before - so their fingers don't touch. ]

What I get for buyin' a cheap piece of shit.

[ there's a couple of glances from people who know them or their families, but nobody lingers or looks twice. probably because of the look on evan's face. god bless that perpetually sour bastard. ]

[ david takes the lighter, lights up, and hands it back the same way. quiet for a moment, looking out at the street, at the cars picking people up and driving off. weirdly he's always enjoyed this part of a night, especially on a cool evening. though what it says that he enjoys watching everybody leave, he's not about to dig into. ]

Any plans for tonight?

[ easy, casual, on the back of an exhale. he doesn't even look evan's way when he asks. ]

[ he doesn't put the lighter away just yet, but doesn't light up himself. not yet. nobody's really watching them, not even the two macmillan guys who stuck around to make sure this doesn't evolve into a brawl. ]

Not sticking around here.

[ dismissive, but not sharp. not the prelude to a fight. it'll put the guys at ease and make him less of something to focus on. already they're not the focus anymore. and as long as they don't make eye contact, he's sure that'll stay the case. they can't stand each other, right? ]

Figure I'll just go back to my place. Get wasted. Pretend this wasn't a waste of time.

[ evan's not good at subterfuge, and never has been, but he puts a very slight inflection on the my as a desperate attempt at a hint. to anybody listening, he's hoping it sounds like he's insulting this whole event. like even being at home is better than the expense and finery of this place, given that it was hosted by the king family, and primarily to show off david.

to david, he's hoping - partly hoping - that it suggests a different place of his. the one he doesn't use much. the only one david's seen. ]

[ david was trying to figure out how to suggest his own place-- struggling with it, really, considering evan doesn't even know it exists. how does one casually say "let me give you the address, let's meet at my place," in a way that nobody else around will pick up on? and also warn that it'll probably look like a trap when he gets there but it's definitely not. ]

[ if these macmillan guys weren't around, david would probably just hush his voice a little and go for it. unfortunately they are, so the completely unsubtle way evan emphasises his place comes as a relief. it doesn't seem like anyone close enough to hear takes it as anything other than a dig at the event either, because what else would evan possibly be suggesting considering who he's talking to? ]

[ for his part, david raises his hands in mock offense. backs up a couple of steps to head back down the street. there's probably a few taxis available by now. ]

Alright, shit. Message received. [ playful, teasing. like he's trying to diffuse a situation but doesn't really want to. ] Don't let me keep you.

[ that seems like he got it. still, evan can't be sure. and he's definitely not risking anything here and now. things aren't as bad as they were but they're still incredibly dangerous, so rather than responding he just sneers and david and turns away, pulling out his pack of cigarettes to light one up.

the other guys make some idle comments. there's a little laughter, but not much. evan rejoins them and lets the smoke drift into the air. back home? someone suggests.

evan pauses, considers. he did just say where he was going, and as far as they're concerned that's actually home. he lets his expression flatten, and say something along the lines of not 'til the old man's out for the night, and there's a brief murmur, some understanding.

just shutting down david king, they think. he really hopes they think.

instead he sends them back and says he's going to find somewhere else to spend the night. find some girl in a bar, maybe, to try and forget his problems. tells the rest of them to head home without him and make sure his old man doesn't destroy the place in a drunken rage, and after a moment, they do.

he knows at least one of them will tail him for a while, so he heads for the bars. goes inside one he knows well and gets a drink until he's sure his shadow is gone, but slips out the back anyway. and then he heads back to his place, intending to beat david there even with the distraction. ]

[ like evan, david knows he's probably going to be watched for a little while, but he's been slipping away from his parents' eyes and ears since he was a kid. his way, of course, consists of throwing a middle finger up at the whole thing — has his taxi park in the darkest possible spot at a bar walking distance (at a push) from evan's place and pays them to idle a little while. then he finds a drunk couple and pays their fare home. it's simply look like david picked someone up, and later it'll be a great reason to rip the piss out of whoever thought they could get one over on him. ]

[ it's pretty normal for david to take off for the night though, so he knows nobody's going to worry about it. foremost on his mind anyway is the fact that the walk gives him way too much time to beat himself up over this. why is he coming out here? what's he going to get from this? it's a terrible idea all around, but he can't stop himself from wanting to see it through, even knowing it's only going to make this — whatever this is — worse. ]

[ david spends pretty much the entire walk going back and forth on whether to just turn around and go home. the case for not being a horny, desperate idiot is pretty strong, but he finds himself at the back door to evan's apartment before it manages to win him over. he kind of wishes he'd had a drink while he was at that bar too, but it's too late now. maybe it's better that he's sober anyway. ]

[ either way, he knocks after another long few moments arguing with himself. maybe seeing evan will turn down the volume on the sensible side of his mind for a little. (it won't.) ]

[ it's only once he's alone in his apartment does evan realize how stupid this all is. he's never really been impulsive. this is new territory for him, and frightening, which makes him angry. he shouldn't be afraid of this. and he's not. really. what he's afraid of is the consequences if he gets found out.

if. if. he has to hold onto that, and not let it turn into when.

the fact that it's david king who's coming is the other problem. but after what they've done, that's becoming more of a frustration than a real issue.

when the knock comes he jumps, suddenly dragged out of his misery and back into the world. he pauses before unlocking the door, trying to see if there's another sign, ready to stop him. maybe it won't be david on the other side of the door.

but it is. and he's still wearing that fucking suit. it doesn't look any worse in the miserable light of his shitty apartment. that makes the decision for him.

evan hesitates for about three seconds before motioning him inside and shutting the door behind them quietly. it's probably the last quiet thing that's going to happen, he figures. ]

[ for some reason, he wasn't actually expecting evan to answer the door. who fucking knows why, wishful thinking, maybe. so he looks surprised for a second when the door opens and he's there on the other side. ]

[ he's becoming way too familiar with this shitty apartment. somehow that feels true even though he's only seen like 2 rooms, but the thought goes through his mind as he steps inside. there's a high note of panic in his mind like always, a list that feels unending of all the ways this is stupid. of all the consequences that'll come crashing down on his head when this shit falls apart. ]

[ but there's no point dancing around it, he figures. not now that he's here, now they're both here and the door is closed. and the second it is, david's moving toward evan, reaching for his shirt or his neck or whatever he can get his hands on to pull him into a kiss that's as much an attack as it is a kiss. aggressive and desperate and hungry thanks to the night they've had. ]

[ he was tempted to drag david in by the tie, but resisted. now, with the door shut, david goes at him, and after a second of surprise evan returns it.

his back hits the door hard, but nobody here pays attention to loud noises that aren't in their apartments. he returns the kiss as hard and harsh as david gives it and just about claws at the suit, the tie, trying to one open and the other off, all the heat from before surging back up through him. all the hunger, the long-chained desires, everything - it tears through him like he's never had a chance to let loose before.

and he hasn't, really.

he manages to avoid ripping the suit and gets the first few buttons open again. fingers find where he left marks earlier, the reddened spots on david's collarbone, and sees they've darkened just a little - darker red than when he left them, but not bruises yet. he'll fix that. just as soon as he can break away from the biting kiss. ]

[ david's plans are the same-- well, he intends to return the favour. pulling at evan's tie to get it loose enough, having to fight himself not to be too violent about it when he gets to evan's shirt buttons. ]

[ he pulls back from the kiss as soon as he thinks there's enough space, (part of him just wants to beat evan to it,) tilts his head down to kiss and drag his teeth along the underside of evan's jaw. has to fight himself not to bite there, or on his neck, as much as he'd love to see him in a week with a visible mark and know he's the one who left it, it's not-- it's a bad idea. he knows. ]

[ david keeps moving, lips and teeth down evan's neck to try and find his collarbone. bites the same way evan did to him, not enough to draw blood, but it'll bruise up nicely in a day or two. ]

[ david gets ahead of him, and evan grimaces at that, ready to snarl something, right up until there's teeth along his jaw. it thrills and terrifies him - what if he leaves a mark? - until the bite comes much lower down, where the top of his shirt is open. on the same collarbone he left a mark on david.

fine. he'd have done the same thing in that position, but that doesn't mean he's going to just take it.

evan lets out a hard breath and all but claws david's tie off, letting it drop to the floor and using this opportunity to fight a few more buttons open so he can get his own hands on david's chest. running short, blunt nails down the front, finding scars, muscles, tattoos, anything. feeling him out. they've fought before, so he can almost remember this, but it was never nice. never pleasant. never anything but feeling those scars and muscles give way under punches. ]

[ the hands on him coax a low, pleased noise against evan's skin. part of him wants to rip his shirt open, encourage more of that, but after a moment he figures evan can catch the hint on his own. keeps his focus here, on pulling at evan's open collar to expose more skin, on his hand at the back of his neck, on finding another spot further down to bite into. ]

[ he's never been this desperate for... anyone, he doesn't think. nor this aggressive, not genuinely. maybe it's all the years pent up, repressed, holding himself back when all he's ever wanted was this. he snarls, bites harder this time as the thoughts cross his mind, but the red clears and the way he sucks at the mark is almost a little apologetic. like he's trying to soothe it just a bit. ]

[ could spend ages doing just this, part of david thinks. just using his mouth and his hands to map evan out, leave little marks that nobody else would dare to. know his body in a way entirely different to what he's used to.

but david's impatient right now. maybe not for anything specific other than satisfying this heat and this need that's built up between them, but aimless as it is it's enough that it pushes him to start working more buttons on evan's shirt open to try and get it off him as soon as possible. ]

[ the bite makes him snarl - not words, just a noise of pain and aggression - but it's brief, and it doesn't make him angry enough to attack. obviously not now. even knowing it'll leave a mark, it's not a mark anybody's going to see. all it does it make him want to leave another one on david. a lot of them.

he keeps one hand on david's chest, feeling him out, trying to distract him, while the other makes its way up around to the back of his neck and then up into his hair. a hard grip but not a violent one. just to hold on. he lets go very briefly to shrug the suit jacket off as he feels david try to get that off him, but the shirt -

he tightens his grip in david's hair and pulls back on it. ]

Leave - it.

[ he doesn't care if his shirt's open. that's not the problem. he fights a few more of the buttons on david's own shirt open, trying to keep his attention somewhere else. ]

[ david tilts his head toward the pull of evan's hand in his hair, pauses just to also shrug off his jacket and resumes what he was doing before, hands on evan's chest slipping under his shirt to try and push it off his shoulders. ]

[ and then evan pulls his hair, tells him to leave it, which is - odd. david takes his hands off him, reaches up to grab his forearm and pull his hand away because hair pulling is one thing, but being directed is another, and looks at evan with his lip curled up in a sneer. ]

[ it also brings to mind last time, when evan stopped david pushing his shirt up too far, and it shows on his face — the way david's eyes widen just a tiny bit in realisation when things slot together. ]

What're you tryin' to hide under there?

[ this is going to kill the mood. he doesn't miss the way david pulls his arm away when evan started to try and pull him off. direct him. control freak, he thinks, without the slightest hint of recognizing the hypocrisy.

it's not something he wants to explain, at least not in detail. he digs his fingers into david's chest as if to try and keep this from going anywhere but where they both want it to go. ]

Nothin' you want to see, if you wanna keep this going.

[ he strains against the grip on his arm, testing when he'll get to grab hold of david again. the mood's still there. the hunger. he wants it to stay. ]

[ it's difficult to decide whether or not he wants to push this or not, because part of him couldn't give less of a fuck if evan keeps his shirt on or not, but another just as loud part of him thinks he didn't put up with this and come out here not to get full access to this jerk. ]

[ there's a third part of him that's just fucking nosey, that's never going to be able to shake this now he's aware that there's something odd here, but that one david can almost ignore. just about. ]

You really think some ugly shoulders 're gonna put me off after all this?

[ must be a botched tattoo or some shit, something ugly and embarrassing, david can't think of a single other reason evan would be self-conscious. he says it, eyebrows raised as if what evan's said is the stupidest thing he's ever heard, but david doesn't linger. lets go of evan's arm to shove him back against the door. again. presses forward to coax him into a kiss and push a knee up between his legs since there's no reason to be cautious this time. ]

[ whatever evan's hiding can wait for now. ]

[ evan almost smiles at that, bitterly, but david moves quickly enough to distract him, and critically, he doesn't push. doesn't try to get the shirt off anyway, just leaves it open. and that's fine. evan lets that little crippling point of anxiety slide into the back of his mind.

it's easier than normal when david gets a leg between his again. and this time, he doesn't have to be worried about someone hearing them, or walking in, or coming to find him. he can lean into it, both hands back on david's chest, because as long as this fighting kiss is going on he can't break to leave the marks he wants to. red lines where his fingernails fail to really make an impression are going to have to do. for now.

he does manage to push at david's shirt, though, because david doesn't have the resistance he does. he's out of his shirt half the time in this apartment. just more to work with. more to get his hands on as his own legs squeeze david's tight between his so he can't just move away. ]

[ it's honestly the easiest part of this whole thing, when evan pushes at his shirt, to pull his hands back enough to quickly slip it off and let it fall to the floor behind him. there probably isn't a single part of his body that david is the slightest bit self-conscious of, but more than that he knows other people really like his body. it's almost routine to make himself accessible as quickly as possible at this point. ]

[ he gets his hands back on evan quickly, pushes one up his front until it's resting just below his chest. the other starts at his hip until david moves it around to evan's lower back, fingers curling and scratching at his skin as he urges evan's hips closer. tighter to his as david grinds up against him. ]

[ even if the suit was the reason evan started all this, having it half off doesn't change things at all. he breaks away from the kiss almost by force as soon as david's whole chest is bared to get more than just his hands on it. kissing and biting there, too, back on the collarbones, the shoulders, but not the neck - much as he'd like to, his sense of self-preservation is still on high alert, and he's sure david's is the same.

but there's plenty of other places to go for. and he doesn't fight back against the hand on his lower back, where david can probably feel a scattering of old scars like the ones on his front. he lets david pull him in, lets them grind up against each other, breathes out hard against david's skin and his hands never move away. trying to get more.

of course, if he knew david had the idea that evan wanted to get hands on him, he wouldn't be so obvious about it out of spite. so it's probably for the best that they're both otherwise occupied. ]

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