hardlydead | (( them gods gonna hurt you son; when you play with a loaded gun ))

[ it's only once he's alone in his apartment does evan realize how stupid this all is. he's never really been impulsive. this is new territory for him, and frightening, which makes him angry. he shouldn't be afraid of this. and he's not. really. what he's afraid of is the consequences if he gets found out.

if. if. he has to hold onto that, and not let it turn into when.

the fact that it's david king who's coming is the other problem. but after what they've done, that's becoming more of a frustration than a real issue.

when the knock comes he jumps, suddenly dragged out of his misery and back into the world. he pauses before unlocking the door, trying to see if there's another sign, ready to stop him. maybe it won't be david on the other side of the door.

but it is. and he's still wearing that fucking suit. it doesn't look any worse in the miserable light of his shitty apartment. that makes the decision for him.

evan hesitates for about three seconds before motioning him inside and shutting the door behind them quietly. it's probably the last quiet thing that's going to happen, he figures. ]

[ for some reason, he wasn't actually expecting evan to answer the door. who fucking knows why, wishful thinking, maybe. so he looks surprised for a second when the door opens and he's there on the other side. ]

[ he's becoming way too familiar with this shitty apartment. somehow that feels true even though he's only seen like 2 rooms, but the thought goes through his mind as he steps inside. there's a high note of panic in his mind like always, a list that feels unending of all the ways this is stupid. of all the consequences that'll come crashing down on his head when this shit falls apart. ]

[ but there's no point dancing around it, he figures. not now that he's here, now they're both here and the door is closed. and the second it is, david's moving toward evan, reaching for his shirt or his neck or whatever he can get his hands on to pull him into a kiss that's as much an attack as it is a kiss. aggressive and desperate and hungry thanks to the night they've had. ]

[ he was tempted to drag david in by the tie, but resisted. now, with the door shut, david goes at him, and after a second of surprise evan returns it.

his back hits the door hard, but nobody here pays attention to loud noises that aren't in their apartments. he returns the kiss as hard and harsh as david gives it and just about claws at the suit, the tie, trying to one open and the other off, all the heat from before surging back up through him. all the hunger, the long-chained desires, everything - it tears through him like he's never had a chance to let loose before.

and he hasn't, really.

he manages to avoid ripping the suit and gets the first few buttons open again. fingers find where he left marks earlier, the reddened spots on david's collarbone, and sees they've darkened just a little - darker red than when he left them, but not bruises yet. he'll fix that. just as soon as he can break away from the biting kiss. ]

[ david's plans are the same-- well, he intends to return the favour. pulling at evan's tie to get it loose enough, having to fight himself not to be too violent about it when he gets to evan's shirt buttons. ]

[ he pulls back from the kiss as soon as he thinks there's enough space, (part of him just wants to beat evan to it,) tilts his head down to kiss and drag his teeth along the underside of evan's jaw. has to fight himself not to bite there, or on his neck, as much as he'd love to see him in a week with a visible mark and know he's the one who left it, it's not-- it's a bad idea. he knows. ]

[ david keeps moving, lips and teeth down evan's neck to try and find his collarbone. bites the same way evan did to him, not enough to draw blood, but it'll bruise up nicely in a day or two. ]

[ david gets ahead of him, and evan grimaces at that, ready to snarl something, right up until there's teeth along his jaw. it thrills and terrifies him - what if he leaves a mark? - until the bite comes much lower down, where the top of his shirt is open. on the same collarbone he left a mark on david.

fine. he'd have done the same thing in that position, but that doesn't mean he's going to just take it.

evan lets out a hard breath and all but claws david's tie off, letting it drop to the floor and using this opportunity to fight a few more buttons open so he can get his own hands on david's chest. running short, blunt nails down the front, finding scars, muscles, tattoos, anything. feeling him out. they've fought before, so he can almost remember this, but it was never nice. never pleasant. never anything but feeling those scars and muscles give way under punches. ]

[ the hands on him coax a low, pleased noise against evan's skin. part of him wants to rip his shirt open, encourage more of that, but after a moment he figures evan can catch the hint on his own. keeps his focus here, on pulling at evan's open collar to expose more skin, on his hand at the back of his neck, on finding another spot further down to bite into. ]

[ he's never been this desperate for... anyone, he doesn't think. nor this aggressive, not genuinely. maybe it's all the years pent up, repressed, holding himself back when all he's ever wanted was this. he snarls, bites harder this time as the thoughts cross his mind, but the red clears and the way he sucks at the mark is almost a little apologetic. like he's trying to soothe it just a bit. ]

[ could spend ages doing just this, part of david thinks. just using his mouth and his hands to map evan out, leave little marks that nobody else would dare to. know his body in a way entirely different to what he's used to.

but david's impatient right now. maybe not for anything specific other than satisfying this heat and this need that's built up between them, but aimless as it is it's enough that it pushes him to start working more buttons on evan's shirt open to try and get it off him as soon as possible. ]

[ the bite makes him snarl - not words, just a noise of pain and aggression - but it's brief, and it doesn't make him angry enough to attack. obviously not now. even knowing it'll leave a mark, it's not a mark anybody's going to see. all it does it make him want to leave another one on david. a lot of them.

he keeps one hand on david's chest, feeling him out, trying to distract him, while the other makes its way up around to the back of his neck and then up into his hair. a hard grip but not a violent one. just to hold on. he lets go very briefly to shrug the suit jacket off as he feels david try to get that off him, but the shirt -

he tightens his grip in david's hair and pulls back on it. ]

Leave - it.

[ he doesn't care if his shirt's open. that's not the problem. he fights a few more of the buttons on david's own shirt open, trying to keep his attention somewhere else. ]

[ david tilts his head toward the pull of evan's hand in his hair, pauses just to also shrug off his jacket and resumes what he was doing before, hands on evan's chest slipping under his shirt to try and push it off his shoulders. ]

[ and then evan pulls his hair, tells him to leave it, which is - odd. david takes his hands off him, reaches up to grab his forearm and pull his hand away because hair pulling is one thing, but being directed is another, and looks at evan with his lip curled up in a sneer. ]

[ it also brings to mind last time, when evan stopped david pushing his shirt up too far, and it shows on his face — the way david's eyes widen just a tiny bit in realisation when things slot together. ]

What're you tryin' to hide under there?

[ this is going to kill the mood. he doesn't miss the way david pulls his arm away when evan started to try and pull him off. direct him. control freak, he thinks, without the slightest hint of recognizing the hypocrisy.

it's not something he wants to explain, at least not in detail. he digs his fingers into david's chest as if to try and keep this from going anywhere but where they both want it to go. ]

Nothin' you want to see, if you wanna keep this going.

[ he strains against the grip on his arm, testing when he'll get to grab hold of david again. the mood's still there. the hunger. he wants it to stay. ]

[ it's difficult to decide whether or not he wants to push this or not, because part of him couldn't give less of a fuck if evan keeps his shirt on or not, but another just as loud part of him thinks he didn't put up with this and come out here not to get full access to this jerk. ]

[ there's a third part of him that's just fucking nosey, that's never going to be able to shake this now he's aware that there's something odd here, but that one david can almost ignore. just about. ]

You really think some ugly shoulders 're gonna put me off after all this?

[ must be a botched tattoo or some shit, something ugly and embarrassing, david can't think of a single other reason evan would be self-conscious. he says it, eyebrows raised as if what evan's said is the stupidest thing he's ever heard, but david doesn't linger. lets go of evan's arm to shove him back against the door. again. presses forward to coax him into a kiss and push a knee up between his legs since there's no reason to be cautious this time. ]

[ whatever evan's hiding can wait for now. ]

[ evan almost smiles at that, bitterly, but david moves quickly enough to distract him, and critically, he doesn't push. doesn't try to get the shirt off anyway, just leaves it open. and that's fine. evan lets that little crippling point of anxiety slide into the back of his mind.

it's easier than normal when david gets a leg between his again. and this time, he doesn't have to be worried about someone hearing them, or walking in, or coming to find him. he can lean into it, both hands back on david's chest, because as long as this fighting kiss is going on he can't break to leave the marks he wants to. red lines where his fingernails fail to really make an impression are going to have to do. for now.

he does manage to push at david's shirt, though, because david doesn't have the resistance he does. he's out of his shirt half the time in this apartment. just more to work with. more to get his hands on as his own legs squeeze david's tight between his so he can't just move away. ]

[ it's honestly the easiest part of this whole thing, when evan pushes at his shirt, to pull his hands back enough to quickly slip it off and let it fall to the floor behind him. there probably isn't a single part of his body that david is the slightest bit self-conscious of, but more than that he knows other people really like his body. it's almost routine to make himself accessible as quickly as possible at this point. ]

[ he gets his hands back on evan quickly, pushes one up his front until it's resting just below his chest. the other starts at his hip until david moves it around to evan's lower back, fingers curling and scratching at his skin as he urges evan's hips closer. tighter to his as david grinds up against him. ]

[ even if the suit was the reason evan started all this, having it half off doesn't change things at all. he breaks away from the kiss almost by force as soon as david's whole chest is bared to get more than just his hands on it. kissing and biting there, too, back on the collarbones, the shoulders, but not the neck - much as he'd like to, his sense of self-preservation is still on high alert, and he's sure david's is the same.

but there's plenty of other places to go for. and he doesn't fight back against the hand on his lower back, where david can probably feel a scattering of old scars like the ones on his front. he lets david pull him in, lets them grind up against each other, breathes out hard against david's skin and his hands never move away. trying to get more.

of course, if he knew david had the idea that evan wanted to get hands on him, he wouldn't be so obvious about it out of spite. so it's probably for the best that they're both otherwise occupied. ]

[ david swears, a sharp hiss through his teeth, fingers digging in harshly at evan's back for a second. something in him relaxes when evan bypasses his neck entirely, though he would probably have an easier time explaining it away than evan, but it's offset by the way his breath catches at the fresh bites. ]

[ he feels his way up evan's back, dragging his nails over scars and muscles, though he stops himself around evan's shoulderblades. it's not worth risking the mood, not now. ]

[ his other hand, he brings up to the back of evan's head, not pushing him, just encouraging. breathes out another soft curse when he bites somewhere a little more tender, fingers scraping over his scalp. ]

[ the further up evan's back david reaches, the more tense evan gets, until he tries to trap his hands against the door to stop him, but he was too distracted. too late. the further up he goes, the more scars and scar tissue david will feel, until by the time he gets to his shoulderblades he might have trouble finding them just from how much scarring there is under his fingers.

evan grabs his upper arms and holds on tight, trying to hold him still, without actually pulling away from where he's biting. the anger's trying to fight with the urge to keep this going and losing, but it does have a hand in this now. ]

I said leave it.

[ he doesn't want this to stop but he doesn't want to explain what david's feeling, either. or show him. he's hard as hell and he wants this but there's too many problems ready to blow up. maybe he needs to push back. get them somewhere that isn't the front door. ]

[ david's so distracted by everything going on, he doesn't fully register what he's feeling until it's too late. the grab startles david a little, pisses him off more, but david just about manages to swallow it. ]

I wasn't--

[ obviously annoyed, because how the fuck is he supposed to know where evan's lines are? it takes just about everything in him not to fight about it, but david's way more interested in keeping this going than finding out what the fuck happened to evan or how extensive that scarring is. he drops his hand back down to make that point, to evan's lower back, before the scarring starts to build up. he at least has a mental map of what's okay for now. ]

[ david relents, but evan can feel the anger. like fuck he's explaining all this now, though, or ever. david doesn't ask questions and grabs on again at his lower back, and that's enough, even if evan still wants to fight. at least that's settling again.

the hand at his scalp he doesn't really have an issue with - it's not holding him in place. just there. just holding on. he keeps biting, keeps leaving marks, his hands finding anything and everything until they get to david's belt, where they remember what's happening here.

for a second he freezes, hit by the revelation of how far this might go, but it's just for a second. just long enough to paralyze, and then he pushes past it. david's already been on his knees here. evan's already let him. things have already hit a point of no return.

he fights the belt open, but it's hard to get any further than that because of how tight they're pressed together. that's fine. having that much open is a start. he can get his hands on david's hips, on the skin, the jut of bone and muscle, wanting to do a lot more than just feel. he wants to bruise. wants david to feel it at every opportunity. ]

[ evan relaxes (?) so david does the same, relieved by it. on a list of times david wants to fight, when he's harder than he can remember ever being in recent memory and apparently halfway covered in hickies would be a new entry, but it'd rank near the bottom too. ]

[ he catches the way evan freezes, but he moves on before david can do anything, and then he's undoing david's belt which makes him suddenly painfully aware of how uncomfortable it is still being in his pants right now. not that there's much he can do about it. instinctively shifts his hips back a little to make space for evan's hands, but it's still not much. though it does occur to him to return the favour; hands falling to evan's belt to wrestle it open, to get the button open on his pants even if there's no space between them to pull the fly down. ]

[ part of him does wonder, as he tucks his fingers into evan's waistband, presses his thumbs harshly into the line of his hips, if evan's having to show as much restraint as he is. because all david wants to do right now is turn evan around and push him against that door, leave a mark on his neck he'll have to spend the next two weeks picking out shirts to hide. not even to fuck him — honestly there's about a million reasons he wouldn't even try, not like this — but he's sure he could get them both off pretty decently like that. ]

[ maybe another time. david's certainly not under any more illusions that this is gonna be over between them after this, he can't lie to himself that well. and admittedly the thought does prompt a spark of excitement, but david doesn't let himself dwell on that. focuses on the feeling of evan against him, of his hands on his hips, teeth and lips and the sound and sensation of evan's breath on his skin. ]

[ there's a part of him that wants to do this right here, right now. against the door, or on the floor in front of it. but that's just a little too close to the hallway for him, because while nobody's listening, that doesn't mean nobody's going to start if they hear something.

he manages to pull away just enough to speak, his teeth scraping against david's skin as he goes. ]

- gotta move.

[ the bedroom's not necessarily the end goal, but it's an option. just away from the door is really all he wants. not that he actually does anything to get there, considering that he's the one pinned to it and he's lost the urge to fight. if david disagrees, he doubts they're going anywhere.

with the belt loosened he gets a hand around behind david, fingers under his pants and any underwear he might be wearing to grab his ass, as hard as he can manage with the tight fit. conveniently, that also keeps them from separating. ]

[ david instinctively flexes in evan's grip, his own hands moving from evan's hips up to his waist, shifting closer again with the grip evan has on him. so it makes him huff a short laugh when evan speaks. ]

Gotta let go of me first.

[ not that he really wants that, but moving somewhere else might be nicer. ]

[ it's a good point. slowly, evan pulls his hands back, up over david's hips again, resting there rather than grabbing. he even manages to pull his head away from david, actually looking at him for the first time since they started this, and the anger comes back because every time he sees david's face he wants to cave it in.

but that's easy to let slide. there's other expressions he could see, now.

the apartment is small enough that the only door is to the bedroom, with the bathroom off that. it's not far from them, either. whether they end up there or on the couch or on the floor somewhere in-between, evan's not sure he has it in him to complain. not until later, at least. ]

[ with the heat and the urgency that's built up between them, it's difficult to fully let go of evan. one of his thumbs strokes the shape of a scar on his side, hands resting at his waist. barely a moment of thought before he's reaching again for the side of evan's neck to pull him into a kiss and tucking his fingers back in evan's waistband to pull him back away from the door with him. ]

[ the only places david knows in this apartment are the kitchen and the living room, so unless evan directs them, david's gonna move blindly toward the couch. he really doesn't care where they end up so long as it's soon. ]

[ as far as evan's concerned, the couch is fine. so's the floor next to it. he lets david drag them for a few seconds before realizing he's being led. he almost recoils, except that he doesn't want to let go, his hands gripping hard onto david's waist again.

so he pushes instead, as best he can. right up until they get to the couch, where he lets david hit it first, lets him collapse back onto it and follows him, one knee on either side of him and keeping him down.

now he's got a little more room to work with, and without breaking the kiss - as if david would let him - he yanks at the zipper, gets a hand past that, down until he can get his hand around david and try to get him freed.

he's not exactly experienced here. his closest experience is what he watched - occasionally watches - in the dead of night when nobody could interrupt him. but it's not so different from being with a woman. well. not that different, anyway. kind of. ]

[ david very nearly laughs again when evan starts to push him, but he doesn't fight it even if the urge is there. it comes out of him in a rougher bite against evan's bottom lip instead, as if making a point that he'll allow it, but he's not happy about it. ]

[ the anger dissipates a little in favour of surprise when he hits the couch and falls back onto it, but david catches himself quickly. shimmies back to fit himself on the length of it and gets his hands on evan's hips to help guide him down. ]

[ here, at least, they're of a similar mind. the second evan's situated, david's pulling his zipper down, impatiently pushing his pants and underwear down just over his ass and returning the favour in shoving his hand down evan's underwear to pull him free. he's honestly a little surprised at the way evan just goes for it, everything up until now has made david assume he'd be a little more hesitant, but the surprise is a pleasant one. ]

[ the second david has a hand on him he pauses. not out of surprise or fear or the paralyzing realization of what they're doing, but because it's good, too good, and it's literally the absolute bare minimum. it's pathetic. he lets out another hard breath, ducks his head against david's collarbone and tries to focus.

he's never gotten anywhere near this with another man, but it can't be difficult. he's not going to imagine this going all that much further, because that'll probably kill him, but this - is better than he'd ever expected. even if it's with david fucking king of all people. ]

Always knew you were - easy.

[ it's an automatic insult, one that ignores the fact that he was the one to get hands on david first. if he thought about it, he wouldn't have said it. or at least have felt slightly embarrassed. as it is, it's barely out of his mouth before he's stroking david. trying to keep him from responding, or at least just - get this going. ]

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