hardlydead | (( them gods gonna hurt you son; when you play with a loaded gun ))

[ the words it doesn't matter won't come. he knows they should, but they're not there. he almost bares his teeth over it, ready to kill, although he's not sure if he wants to kill david or himself over how furious he's getting about being here at all. you know. to the place he called david out to.

why does it matter? ]

You don't like anybody that much, you fuck. You can't. Especially not a woman.

[ especially not a woman. that hits like a truck, makes a wave of panic wash over him. for a second david even thinks he tastes bile in the back of his throat. does evan know? there's no fucking way he could. david's never told anybody, not even the scant few men he's actually been with. ]

[ the anger surges up after a moment like a protective veil. evan can't know, so he must be projecting. or maybe he's jealous. what a fucking asshole. did evan bring him out here to argue about this? like he's entitled to his time and attention? ]

Why not, hm? [ david steps closer, reaches out with a hand to shove evan's shoulder. ] Tell me about myself then, seein' as you know me so well.

[ the shove is almost enough to tip him over the edge, but evan's not quite at the precipice yet - inches away, another shove will do it, but he doesn't snap just yet. he steps back with the shove, which inches him closer to it. but he's still standing. still snarling.

he doesn't smirk when he talks. it's not even in his voice. all the smugness from the night before is gone, and was gone the second he found out what david did. ]

You're the guy who went on his knees without me even havin' to ask.

[ it's meant to be insulting, obviously, but it's a clear mark that he also hasn't been able to forget that first night they started whatever the hell this is. he probably never will. ]

And? I don't make the girls ask either.

[ if he were less insulated by his anger, that would catch him, throw him off. as would the lack of much of anything from evan. the way what he says falls kind of flat. as pissed as he is though, david just pushes right through it, moving closer to evan again in turn. ]

[ it's different, he knows that. as much as it isn't different either. but he's not planning to let evan get away with whatever this is based on some bullshit about how sucking a dick is different to eating a girl out. why can't they just file it away under the header "david's a slut" and be done with it? ]

[ why does evan have to keep coming this close to undoing everything he's built himself up to be? ]

This ain't the same and you know it.

[ david's getting too close, and the anger's getting too sharp to resist. his hands curl into fists without him even realizing it. he's angry about - everything. every second of every day, now. it's not just about the tab and some part of him knows that, but that in and of itself is something to hold onto, to use as an excuse to not think. ]

You wouldn't have done it if you didn't want to. Not even to make me look bad.

[ notably, evan didn't argue. or resist. or do anything other than let him. and not even in a smug or superior way, he just - let him, like he wanted it for a reason, too. facts he's ignoring right now, as usual. ]

This from the bloke who practically wrestled his way into my lap. [ wait ] Twice.

[ it should be an insult, but it doesn't come out like one. more like exasperation, confusion. frustration. he doesn't understand why evan's this mad, or why he's now... accusing him of not liking women? with so much emphasis? sure it's true, but where the fuck did that come from? ]

Sounds like you're projecting.

[ that has to be it, right? ]

[ unsurprisingly, that's what sets him off.

it is and isn't true, but it's true enough that he can't handle it. maybe if he was more hung over he'd have less energy to back up the rage but he sobered up quick last night and didn't drink enough to keep himself going afterward.

as close as they are, he can't really lunge. he just snatches, tries to grab david by the front of his shirt, tries to lay down as many punches as he can before this fight erupts for real. he knows that even hung over david's a hell of a brawler. there's a reason people other than evan don't try to fight him on the regular.

of course, evan has his own reasons for fighting him even when he shouldn't. they've come to blows in situations like this before plenty of times. just ... never in quite the same way, some part of him realizes. ]

[ his reaction time isn't quite what it would be if he was firing on all cylinders, but david knows evan well, knows fighting evan... maybe better than he's ever known any part of anyone else. he's seen that tipping point what must be hundreds of times by now, so while he's not necessarily quick enough to defend himself or turn it around immediately, david can at least brace himself for the hits, empty bottle falling to the floor in favour of hands balling into fists. ]

[ when he gets the right timing, david throws an arm around evan's neck to pull his head down into as many punches as he can before one of them breaks this grapple. david's still deeply confused by all of this, but he's not one to turn away from a fight. never has been. ]

[ there's nothing new to him about getting his ass kicked by david. almost immediately he's seeing retaliation and where before it would make him madder, make him throw himself into the fight more with a sort of frantic energy some people might have confused for something like joy, this time he just gets frustrated. like he didn't want david to actually fight back despite knowing that was absolutely the only choice here.

he struggles in the grip, claws and twists at whatever he can reach, jerks his whole body to get out of the grab. gets as many hits in of his own as he can, aiming for david's kidneys. anything that'll hurt.

including the bone, one punch landing not entirely intentionally on his hip, which just about breaks one of evan's fingers. but he's not exactly thinking straight right now. ]

[ the hit to the kidneys makes david pull inward, but it's the blow to his hipbone that really throws him. he doesn't even think about it before he's shoving evan away roughly to get some space. ]

[ it's all instinct, rather than the way something david seems to activate when he has to throw down. especially with evan. chalk it up to the fact he's still feeling like shit, he just hopes he's not so sluggish still it actually shows. with most people, david could probably take them halfway dead from flu, but evan isn't most people. ]

[ he lunges after the shove, trying to follow it up with another flurry, trying to keep pushing evan back. ]

[ evan stumbles back when david shoves him, feeling pain radiate through his hand and up his arm, and then david's on him again.

it keeps him moving backward, on the defensive, until he hits one of the walls - old and disintegrating as it is, he nearly goes through it when he hits it. he can feel it giving way behind him and tries to duck or at least dodge one of david's punches. so that his fist gets stuck in the wall, or at least takes some damage as the drywall gives way.

all he can do is try to keep up right now. avoid the worst of the blows and land a few of his own. uppercuts. hits to the gut, the ribs, anywhere that'll wind david or keep him off. evan hates having his back to the wall. hates it.

like this, anyway. ]

[ david keeps hitting, shoving, less worries about the hits that don't connect or get blocked so much as he is on keeping evan boxed in. sure, cornered animals, yada yada yada, but it's still a disadvantage that david can take advantage of for a little. ]

[ he can't feel how unstable the wall is though, truth be told if he knew he'd probably try and push evan through it, but the way he finds out is when evan ducks a swing at his face and david hits something that is very much not a face, but also doesn't hurt as much as hitting a wall should? even if it's drywall. ]

[ there's a brief look of confusion on his face that ticks over into surprise as the crumbling wall gives way and his hand ends up stuck. which would be less of an issue if david wasn't stuck in close quarters with evan still — he doesn't have time to waste trying to pull his hand back out. ]

[ ... maybe he could push evan through? it's a stupid idea, but stupid ideas pay off sometimes. he awkwardly twists his body, trying to shove his shoulder against evan's chest with a snarl. it makes his arm bend a little awkwardly, but maybe if he surges against him like he's a blocked door, he can get him through that drywall. ]

[ david's fist getting stuck in the wall should be what evan needs to take charge of this. as soon as he hears it he's landing more punches, another what he hopes is a devastating hit to the kidney, but david's twisting and then he's shoving evan back against that deteriorating wall hard.

he can feel everything starting to give way behind him again, but this time not on his terms. now he's being pushed into the wall deliberately. david's got the same idea he does and he's turning it around.

evan tries to punch at david's trapped arm, hurt his elbow bad enough to force him to back off to try and free his hand, but the wall's already starting to crumble. he can feel the remains of piss-poor drywall starting to shred even through his coat. as he fights back, the whole thing collapses just like it did the last time they were here, and he pitches back onto the floor into the next room over. ]

[ for a moment, david is triumphant, but it doesn't last. the wall crumbles, evan falls, and david has no way to stabilise himself before he falls too. ]

[ normally he'd just push himself back up to his feet and go, or take the opportunity to get some hits in on evan, but he lands on his side, covered in plaster dust and wall debris, and it's hard to make himself do more than lay there in pain and discomfort for a long few moments, he groans, clutching his arm where evan was hitting it, and rolls onto his back just... taking a second. he'll be good after that. ]

[ he falls heavily, but having the wall crumble slowly like that means he was at least slightly braced for it. still, it knocks the wind out of him, hurts his arms when he uses those to try and cushion the blow. he'll have bruises up the back of his arms to his shoulders if he's unlucky.

evan tries to brace himself for david's almost guaranteed immediate attack, but it doesn't come. he has a few seconds to catch his breath. stabilize himself. when he finally shoves himself up on his elbows david's next to him. trying to recover almost as much. ]

You can't be done already. I've seen you fight harder in worse condition.

I'm tired, man.

[ he's not done, evan's right, he could easily get up and keep going, but even for them this feels fucking stupid. any other person, david would just knock their ass out and leave, dust his hands of the whole thing, but it's not that simple with evan. nothing is simple with evan anymore. ]

Tired?

[ evan's tired too, burned out, exhausted, beat up - but he wouldn't say it out loud. he stares at david incredulously, waiting for him to get up and start this shit again, but he doesn't. he just stays down.

he doesn't explain himself, either, and evan has an idea of why. it makes him angry to think about. he's tempted to just get up and walk away, snarl something insulting or dismissive on the way out, but that'll just keep this shit going.

why can't they just keep fighting? make things simple again? oh, yes. because of who they are. ]

Stupid fuckin' place to sleep.

Not that kind of tired.

[ david turns his head to look at evan with a shrug. he was expecting him to take advantage of the moment, but instead he just stays where he is, looking at him. david sighs, looks up at the cracked and peeling ceiling. he's hurt, sure, but it's no big deal. he's also hungover and just not all in this, not really. he's been so thrown off since evan texted him this morning, and now it's just-- something about it being evan pierces crudely through the easy anger and violence that directs david most of the time. ]

[ he laughs, pushes a hand through his hair. ]

This shit's so messy now.

[ no easy way to disentangle it, they know too much about eachother now. things neither of them would tell or show to anybody else. it's all so fucked up. ]

Edited (actually he's not admitting shit) 2025-02-17 01:11 (UTC)

[ he probably should have guessed that, but evan's not firing on all cylinders right now. he snorts, wondering if he should just lean over and punch david in the throat before leaving. just for the hell of it. just to finish this.

he stays still for now, glaring as david doesn't move except to brush plaster dust out of his air, as david laughs, as david points out something that's probably the cause of all this. it's not the same anymore, and whose fault is that? not just david's. not even he can pretend that's the case anymore. ]

Yeah, well. Neither one of us could fucking back down.

[ or resist urges, or pretend to not feel something. it's a problem. neither one of them has great self-control, or at least evan knows he doesn't. outside of certain situations, anyway. and now that's led to them getting involved in a way they can't just break apart from.

why not? it should be easy. except that the sex is better than anything he's ever had. that's the problem. and so is whatever the hell last night was, because he can't blame sex for that. ]

[ david breathes another tired laugh. that's fucking true, neither of them knows how to back down. because he knows, without a doubt, if he felt challenged and that was the way to respond, david would stick his hands down evan's pants right now without any hesitation. ]

We really fucked up, ey?

[ he doesn't often feel like things are actually his fault, not nearly as much as he's told they are, but this? this is all the two of them, nobody else. taking something that was simple and worked — gave them something of an outlet, benefitted their families — and now it's... this. they're so fucking stupid. ]

[ hearing that from david doesn't make him angry - it makes him miserable. that's worse. it's a lot worse. he's been miserable most of his life but that's because of things outside him making him feel like shit. this? this is on him, from the inside out.

and there's no going back. neither one of them can pretend not to have done it. he stares at the hole in the wall, hardly seeing, barely thinking anything except fuck. ]

Think we should just marry them and move on?

[ he means the girls they're dating. but he's not really serious when he says it; he sounds like he's ready to disappear into the city and never be seen again. neither one of them is smart enough to pull even that stupid idea off, he's sure. ]

Fuck, don't joke. She's perfect for it.

[ he says it almost like he's afraid amelia would hear, but as far as he can tell that shit's not on her radar at all. she's either here for a good time as long as he'll have her, or playing some kind of long con. though that would, funnily enough, make her even more perfect for the role. ]

Don't know if it's a joke.

[ he knows marriage isn't in the cards for him just yet - not even with the current girl, much as he might not hate spending time with her - but hell, it'd give people something to think about. focus on. it'd give them something else to deal with, instead of each other.

it'd make his life shit, but his life is already shit. at least this would be a different kind of shit. still, he knows it's not going to happen. ]

Might even be able to move out if we've got someone else in the picture.

You'd be fuckin' miserable.

[ david exhales through his nose, dusts some plaster off his shirt like it even matters considering how much shit is all over him. the idea of evan with a wife is almost comical, imagining him having to get home, bring her to events. having a kid? ridiculous. ]

[ after a second of thought, he adds: ] More miserable.

[ man's the most miserable motherfucker david's ever met, and yet somehow this would turn it up. ]

[ evan scowls at that. more miserable. how the fuck would david know?

well, who else would know, at this point? ]

Couldn't be that bad.

[ but he's not really thinking about it, because even he knows it's ludicrous. he doesn't like hearing that from someone else, especially david king, who probably wouldn't even notice he was married, but he can't say it's not true. ]

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