[ honestly, jeff doesn't want to have to be the one to have to speak first, but he's the one who asked if they could start this conversation over, so he recognizes that the ball is more or less in his court. it takes him a few long seconds to try and pull his thoughts into something a little more coherent, something that's hopefully a little more clear, though, if not direct. either way, david's hand lingering on his arm makes him feel at least a little bit grounded.
he plays the start of the conversation back in his head, when david had put himself in jeff's way so they could talk, brows pinched together a little as he tries to work out what he wants to say. ]
Shit. All right, uh. What... [ he wets his lips. ] What exactly were you asking me? You said you need to know so you're not 'you know', but. I don't... know.
[ really, that's maybe the part that's confusing him the most right now, though he's plenty confused about the rest of everything else too, really. despite posing david with a question, jeff presses forward and doesn't leave much space for him to answer right away. he drags his hand down over his beard and a little bit down his neck, another one of his subtler anxious ticks. it's not david that makes him anxious, but the possibility of saying the wrong thing. he already feels like he's fumbled once, he doesn't want to screw up twice. ]
To be, uh. Clear. I guess. I've never really done the casual thing. [ which isn't to say that he hasn't tried, it's just that it's not really him. jeff's too soft and sentimental when it comes to the people he allows himself to get close to, both romantically and platonically. and he would say he and david are decently close. he'd have said the same if asked before he got trapped under some mistletoe, too. he clears his throat quietly. ] I like - this.
[ he makes a small gesture back and forth between himself and david. ]
I, uh. Like where we are. So far. [ even if they've definitely skipped over some things and landed maybe a little ahead of themselves, like david said. he lowers his voice slightly, vaguely conscious of the possibility of being eavesdropped on. ] I like you. But if this is all a little too much, or uh. Too fast? I don't have a problem with slowing down or backing off, if that's... what you were wanting to know.
[ why does it feel like he's said absolutely nothing and gotten absolutely nowhere? christ. ]
no subject
he plays the start of the conversation back in his head, when david had put himself in jeff's way so they could talk, brows pinched together a little as he tries to work out what he wants to say. ]
Shit. All right, uh. What... [ he wets his lips. ] What exactly were you asking me? You said you need to know so you're not 'you know', but. I don't... know.
[ really, that's maybe the part that's confusing him the most right now, though he's plenty confused about the rest of everything else too, really. despite posing david with a question, jeff presses forward and doesn't leave much space for him to answer right away. he drags his hand down over his beard and a little bit down his neck, another one of his subtler anxious ticks. it's not david that makes him anxious, but the possibility of saying the wrong thing. he already feels like he's fumbled once, he doesn't want to screw up twice. ]
To be, uh. Clear. I guess. I've never really done the casual thing. [ which isn't to say that he hasn't tried, it's just that it's not really him. jeff's too soft and sentimental when it comes to the people he allows himself to get close to, both romantically and platonically. and he would say he and david are decently close. he'd have said the same if asked before he got trapped under some mistletoe, too. he clears his throat quietly. ] I like - this.
[ he makes a small gesture back and forth between himself and david. ]
I, uh. Like where we are. So far. [ even if they've definitely skipped over some things and landed maybe a little ahead of themselves, like david said. he lowers his voice slightly, vaguely conscious of the possibility of being eavesdropped on. ] I like you. But if this is all a little too much, or uh. Too fast? I don't have a problem with slowing down or backing off, if that's... what you were wanting to know.
[ why does it feel like he's said absolutely nothing and gotten absolutely nowhere? christ. ]